


This is for Yanking My Heart-Guts

by Choisya



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars - The Force Awakens, Star Wars - The Last Jedi - Fandom, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Baltimore, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben and Rey yelling in public like maniacs, Ben knows calligraphy and uses it to impress girls, Ben's got self esteem issues, Ben's perspective, Ben’s a nerd, Bridal Carry AND Piggy back rides, Cannabis, Concerts, Consenual non-con, Devoted Reylo...eventually, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic, Early aughts indie rock, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fantasy NonCon, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hux and Phasma are married, IOU, Impregnation Kink, Jealousy, Jessika runs a gelato shop, Leia's an event planner, Loss of Virginity, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Marijuana Use, Masterbation, Mentions of past abuse, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Nick Cage movies, One more chapter of UST to go!, PWP, Phasma ships them, Poe owns a stationery/print shop, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Protective Ben Solo, Recreational Drug Use, Rey makes anonymous webcomics, Rey's perspective, Sex Toys, Sharing a Bed, Sick with the flu, Size Difference, Slowish burn Reylo, Snoke is mentioned but not featured, Sushi, UST, Virginity Kink, bloody nose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 12:30:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16408547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Choisya/pseuds/Choisya
Summary: With Rey tucked in, there was only one thing left to do. Ben grabbed a clean sheet of paper from the wireless printer perched on her desk and made his way to the kitchen. With the same focus he applied to his tattooing, he drew up an IOU in blackletter script.After the three of them signed the document, Hux was the first one to speak, “Am I the only one without a crush on Rey?"Tropes, filthy smut (eventually), funny dialogue (I think), and Oxford commas... My take on Modern AU Reylo.





	1. September 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Reylo fic after being in the fandom since That Atlantic Article (you know the one) came out after TLJ. This fic started as a daydream that I couldn't get out of my head. The title is a quote from the first Fiona and Cake episode of Adventure Time...I love pop culture references so there will be a lot of them in this fic! All car stuff is half truth half bullshit. Unbeta'ed so all mistakes are mine.

 

 

**September 1**

 

    Finally, Rey had her shit together. The thought dawned on her one morning as she disembarked the bus two blocks from her job at the print shop. It had taken 3 years, 2 months, and 15 days, but she finally felt like she did it. Fucking finally. She had gone through _way_ too much shit in her 21 years, and if she wanted to mentally high-five herself for kicking life's ass, that's what she was gonna do. WAY too much shit, she thought bitterly. But those thoughts weren't going to find purchase in the fertile soil of her mind, not today. She impassively waited for those darker memories to fade away and allowed her mind to wander as she tread the familiar streets through the crisp September morning air. Beaming with modest pride, she did the accounting in her head; 6-month emergency fund, check. A semi-adult wardrobe that included items beyond band t-shirts and ripped jeans (she swore), check. A mastery of the city public transit system, check (no more boosting cars for joy rides, she double swore). Consuming alcohol in public establishments like a legitimate adult instead of dirty basements at house parties, check. A growing sense of existential dread as she hurtled towards a quarter century crisis, check.

    It's not that Rey was ungrateful for her lot in life. That couldn't be further from the truth. She managed to age out of the Albuquerque foster care system relatively unscathed. A few emotional scars here, a general mistrust towards and leeriness of strangers there, topped off with a hefty pinch of abandonment issues, and she was basically fine. Fine enough to have left the desert behind for a place of her own, the aforementioned emergency fund (even though most of that money came from misdeeds that...well, that she double swore she would never do again), and a popular but super-ultra-anonymous--like the kind of anonymous where not even her best friend Rose knew she was the author--web comic with 2 million Instagram followers. Along the way she even managed to make a few lasting friendships, and attract two perfectly nice boyfriends who she broke up with (a fact which she wore like a merit badge, Never Dumped, because she knew they weren't going to stick around so why not get out in front of it, ya know?).

    Her last few years in the system were spent under the cruel tutelage of Unkar Plott, scavenging through the junkyard he owned, looking for anything that could justify her being fed for the day. His operation specialized in jacking cars parked in the seedier parts of town where security cameras were scarce and people willing to speak to the police were even scarcer, and then selling them on the black market or stripping them for parts. The junkyard was mostly a front to launder the money; people in their part of town were either too poor to own a car or too wealthy to bother going to a U Pick. Rey's foster mother had died in a car accident, so it was Rey's lot to spend ages 15-18 learning to boost cars and break them down from the radiator to the exhaust pipe. Unkar said she made a good thief because she was young and unassuming and female; no one gave her a second glance as she lingered a bit too closely to that G Wagon...probably just another girl taking a selfie for SnapChat. She wasn't proud to admit it, but she made for a very good thief...she was meticulous in her work, considering every angle and risk, and never had an issue waiting for the right opportunity. She would stake out a car for hours, if need be, just to find that perfect 5 minute window to strike and leave no trace behind. It was a skill (or a bad habit?) that she fell back on during lean times. But she was done with that now. She had been out of the system for 3 years, and never wanted to look back.

    Foster care forced her to grow up fast; she learned to take responsibility for her own safety and sanity. She never trusted Unkar to protect her should the other shoe drop, so she made damn sure to keep her name and DNA out of all of his dealings. She made double damn sure that no nosy case workers or well-intentioned friends caught wind of the truth behind her home life. Though, it wasn't all bad-- the years spent in the junk yard revealed her natural inclination towards all things mechanical. Cars, motorcycles, even the occasional RV all sang and hummed under her careful fingers. If it converted electrical energy into movement, she could tear it apart, repair it, and rebuild it better than it ever was. Rey's skilled hands became her life line out of despondency and a place she knew would swallow her alive if she let it.

    Shaking off her reverie, Rey paused to take in the softly diffused light on the Baltimore street corner outside of Poe's Paper Press, her home away from home for the past two years. She loved the shop like it was her own, and loved Poe like an older brother. She had met him one morning at a flea market hosted on a spring day in the Mt Vernon neighborhood. Rey had set up a blanket with all sorts of vintage fixtures and gadgets she had picked up for pennies and carefully restored; items like industrial-looking pendant lamps with Edison bulbs and old RC Cars--millennials ate that shit up. The crown jewel of her display was a Golding Jobber 1914 Letter Press machine, whose restoration had taken her 3 months and hours of research at the library. She was selling it for $3000 and not a penny less--she spent enough time on Instagram to understand how letter press art and the concept of authenticity commanded top dollar. She was sure some hipster would come along and just HAVE to have this machine for his indie greeting card company or some shit. Luckily for her, that hipster was Poe, and he was wise enough to realize that such a venerable machine would not last long without a skilled caretaker. He bought the machine under the condition that Rey would join his shop, at least part time, and keep his prized possession churning out products he dressed up with words like vintage and authentic and archival quality.

    Rey rounded the corner outside of Poe's Paper Press and strolled through the private parking lot shared by all of the shops on the block. Eyes scanning the small employee-only parking lot behind her, she took note of the dearth of cars there, all except for a black Audi RS3, looked to be a 2014 or 2015 based on the headlights...shaking off a memory she just knew would send her into a spiral, she ignored the deja vu and studied the car for a moment. It looked unfamiliar, and Rey wondered if Hux or Phasma had bought a new car over the weekend. Poe's shop shared a wall with a tattoo and piercing parlor, owned by Armie Hux and staffed by his long time girlfriend Phasma and a timid looking fellow named Mitaka. Whenever they crossed paths, Phasma would chat up Rey about the latest movie she’d seen or comment on how beautiful she would look with a Daith piercing. Rey considered them acquaintances at best, both them being much closer to Poe in that way that small business owners tended to be. Shared concerns for property and livelihood, as well as disputes with the city government bonded them together in a special alliance, one shared with their 4 neighbors across the street.  Poe's faced a gelato shop, a popular southern-style cafe, a dry cleaner, and a trendy sushi restaurant that Rey only allowed herself to indulge in every other month ($20 rolls were no joke, especially when it took at least two and a half to get full). Rey loved this quaint neighborhood, even with the exorbitant rents that she couldn't fathom how all of these young families afforded. Often after her shift ended, she would wile away the rest of the daylight hours strolling past the quaint houses and fill her lungs with warm air heavy with the scent of lilac, lost in thought as she brainstormed ideas for her next comic. With fall fast approaching, Rey found her strolls cut short by cool evenings for which she never bothered to properly dress. This morning was no exception as she hustled to open the back door of Poe's and escape the cold.

    Rey got to work opening the shop for the day; turning on the lights, signing into the cash register, splaying out the sample books just-so. Poe did most of his business in weddings, and business had been steady through fall as couples were eager to get married before the autumn splendor of the East Coast faded. Invitations, save-the-dates, place cards, menus, thank you cards--PPP did it all, and they did it on the vintage press machine Rey pampered faithfully. Despite its age, it was a work horse that Rey carefully repainted to prevent rust and more importantly (according to Poe) to match the orange accents in the shop. The front show room was separated from where the actual printing press ran, but at PPP "#aesthetic uber alles" was how Poe had put it.

    With the press tended to and the show room ready for customers, Rey sipped on the thermos she carried with her each day of her commute. Caramel sauce, cream, and a hint of coffee--an insult to and corruption of the art of coffee, Poe had called it. At least his husband Finn agreed with her--plain coffee tasted burnt and you wouldn't drink plain vodka would you? Not if you had working taste buds and a sense of self respect. Anyway, Rey always knew she had a dark side, so corruption of this sacred cow suited her just fine.

    Easing into her perch on the high backed stool behind the counter, Rey closed her eyes and meditated on her positive thoughts from earlier. She had been practicing really fucking hard at mindfulness and reigning in her temper. Three years of living with her shields constantly up had left Rey with defensive instincts that she knew were not healthy, especially combined with her temper.  Sitting in the quiet shop, she felt inner peace was an arm's length away, all she had to do was reach out with her feelings and---

   **DUN  
**     DUN  
    DUN  
    DUN  
    dundundundundun dun dun!!!

    Her eyes flew open as the bass drum rattled inside her brain. It took her a moment to shake off the haze and realize that her inner peace was not actually set to the soundtrack of Trivium's latest album. She rolled her eyes and mumbled to herself about their awesome new drummer and Matt's boring vocals. Rey shook her head at the thought that someone would

a) play this music in public, thus admitting to the world that they liked it,

b) play this music in public at 7:30am, thus admitting to the world that they _REALLY_ like it, and

c) play this music that loud in the tattoo parlor next door because hadn't Poe and Hux already come to a mutual agreement regarding volume???

    The image of the black Audi RS3 flashed in her mind before she grabbed her keys and muttered under her breath, "Entitled prick..."

    Rey stormed out of the shop and marched quickly into the tattoo parlor next door. Flinging the front door open for extra intimidation and dramatic effect, she put her hands on her hips and scanned the shop for a blonde or red pompadour. With no immediate acknowledgement of her presence, she scowled at having her badass moment go unwitnessed. This perceived insult from the universe was not helping to cool off her temper.

    Continuing her search for the person who blared, to her ears, the worst Trivium album to date, she finally landed on a black, wavy mop of hair attached to what may have been the broadest pair of shoulders she'd ever seen. Unable to stop herself, she took a quick inventory of the pronounced muscles that bulged under a tight black t-shirt. She felt her stomach flutter and made a mental note to just fucking download Tinder already (it really had been too long if just the sight of a guy's back was making her throb). Another, quieter part of her made a mental note to catch Phasma on a smoke break out back by the dumpster and ask her about this guy. Her eyes traveled along a thick, tattooed bicep to a giant glove-covered hand that was steadily tattooing the proud belly of a biker past his prime. Shaking off the momentary distraction, she narrowed her eyes and shouted as loud as she could at the back of his head, "Hey!!"

    "Hello!! Hey asshole!!"

    Nothing. The biker, whose belly was currently being adorned with what from her vantage point appeared to be a pet portrait, was resting his head on the chair with his hat over his eyes. Seeing no one else in the shop, Rey hustled past the reception desk, around Hux's station and then Phasma's to the back of the shop to confront the man whose torso she didn't recognize. Rey planted her feet and put her hands on her hips, trying her best to strike an authoritative pose. Sensing the presence of someone standing over him, the Adonis (ugh, Rey hated her brain) holding the tattoo gun shook his head to flick the hair out of his face, lifted the needle from the sleeping man's skin, and glanced up at Rey.

    Rey found herself struck by the sight of Kylo--he appeared oversized in every aspect; large brown eyes that possessed a softness that surprised her, thick wavy hair that brushed his shoulders, plush pink lips, a chest that strained against the fabric of his t-shirt taut...just waiting to be yanked off in that sexy way guys reached behind to their shoulder blades with one arm to grip the fabric and pull it over their heads...Jesus Christ, Rey needed to get laid. Didn't she come in her to yell at this guy? Yes, right, the music.

    Shaking out of her daze, Rey muttered, "Fuckin...."

    The amber-eyed man cocked an eyebrow at her and leaned forward. Narrowing her eyes and gesticulating angrily, Rey shouted over the music, "Turn this shit down! I can hear you--"

At that the man reached for the phone lying on the black table next to him and turned off the music with a tap--"next door and it's really fucking obnoxious. The sub woofer isn't even on our shared wall and our bookcases are rattling" Rey spat out before she realized she was shouting over silence. That last part was a bit of an exaggeration, but she was mad and frankly yelling was a faster way to emotional release than meditating.

    Only a snore left the man with the exposed belly, who was clearly used to snoozing through louder confrontations. Or maybe he was just old and years spent on a motorcycle made him hard of hearing, maybe if he woke up Rey would ask. Rey spared him a glance and then continued with a quieter but no less stern voice, "You look new so maybe you didn't know. This song is terrible and if you're going to violate Poe and Hux's noise agreement at least play something that isn't post-Ascendancy Trivium." 

  
**@@@@@@@@**

  
    At those last words, a smirk overtook the scowl on Kylo's face as let his eyes trail down Rey's frame, taking in her faded Coheed and Cambria 2014 tour shirt, ripped jeans, and brown lace up work boots. Kylo tried to ignore the clench he felt in his stomach as he remembered the show he had caught on that tour--he would've been 25, back in California and still dating Bazine at the time (Christ, she was a piece of work and a pain in the ass to take to anything she didn't choose). Shaking off the memory of The Harpy, as Hux had dubbed her, he considered Rey's critique of his song choice. He had to admit--she wasn't wrong per se, but how the hell was he supposed to know someone would be next door this early? He felt his furrowed brow soften as he considered the situation. He had come in extra early on his third day as a favor to Hux--the man currently snoozing through chestnut-haired hellion's outburst was a loyal customer to the shop who came in for a very expensive, very detailed portrait of his dearly departed blue heeler named Bubs. Kylo knew capturing the right fur texture would take all fucking morning, and in his experience customers usually sat still for him longer if he got them in early while they were still sleepy enough to nap under his needle. The loud music helped him zone out and concentrate on the work. Anything less than perfect would not be worthy of his carefully curated portfolio nor the $700 fee his art commanded. Something about the woman in front of him had short circuited his fight-or- **Fight** response and he found himself shrugging his shoulders. Flicking his eyes up to her face, he sighed and then returned to tattooing his customer before growling out, "Fine."

    Visibly satisfied with his capitulation, the girl paused for a beat as her eyes took in his softened visage.  With squared shoulders and a curt nod, she turned heal to head back to her shop, head held high in victory. Kylo stared after her long after the shop door had swung closed, acutely aware of the unwanted emotions bubbling up from the place he entombed them 3 years ago. He blamed the early hour, the caffeine-heavy breakfast, the lightness he felt having made it back to the East Coast to start fresh... he blamed all of it for the atrophied chambers of his heart that were beginning to pump new life into the zombified remains of hopes, dreams, and desires that he had felled, no quarter no prisoners, in the aftermath of his breakup with Bazine.  A defect in his bulwark would not be tolerated, not even for a lilting English accent and a pair of gold flecked hazel eyes. After he shook off the annoyance of the interruption from his new intrigui--no, no, the woman is annoying, at best--neighbor, he set about returning to the task at hand. For a moment his hand hovered over his phone before he swiped through the device, adjusting the volume and track selection. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, the opening notes of "We've Had Enough" coaxed him back into his artistic trance as he laid his tattoo gun to flesh. As the last notes of Alkaline Trio faded, he picked up his phone and searched through it for the perfect second song for the ephemeral mixtape he was building. Obviously it needed to be Coheed and Cambria...but which one? Before he had a chance to choose, his ears pricked as the opening notes of "A Favor House Atlantic" floated through the wall. He snorted a laugh and shook his head, smiling softly to himself as he realized the game they were playing. And so they continued like this, swapping songs until Poe's Printing Press opened to customers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the songs referenced in this chapter:  
> Trivium - The Sin and The Sentence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAoKcM54Q1Y (read these lyrics and tell me Extra AF Ben Solo wouldn't love this song)  
> Alkaline Trio - We've Had Enough https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDVtTvB_tjw  
> Coheed & Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRWjLLpwnOM 
> 
> I can't wait to hear what you guys think!


	2. September 8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **September 8**

  
    Rey woke up with a slickness between the apex of her thighs and an ache that demanded her attention. It was her day off, and she rolled over in her queen sized bed (another adult accomplishment, natch) feeling wound up and grumpy. Dreams of a pair of thick, calloused hands holding her down while a proportionately thick cock fucked her into the mattress plagued her all night. In place of her usual dream visitors (Jon Hamm-as-Don-Draper and Tom Hiddleston-as-Loki...don't judge, she had a type), she dreamt of soft black hair, damp with sweat, tickling her ears while plush lips nibbled on the side of her neck and whispered "Mine."

    Rey sighed as she gave in to the siren song of her nocturnal fantasy. This was a line of thinking that needed to be exercised from her mind...and her body. Succumbing to her baser instincts, she reached into her nightstand and grabbed her Johnny Vixskin dildo and water based lube. She poured some on her dildo and slowly rubbed the head across her clit, then stroking down to her opening to tease herself before slowly inserting it. She relished the initial stretch of her walls around the toy and set to work fantasizing about someone who was definitely not that asshole from work on Saturday. She pictured a faceless man like she'd seen in all of those chikan Hentai videos, where their eyes and noses are covered in shadow (yes, good, this is just a made up person).

    _The tall, broad man approached her on the empty street and in a blur of movement, threw her over his shoulder. She struggled and pushed on his back with her hands, but his grip on her thighs held tight. She felt arousal pooling her in pussy despite herself, "Let me go! I'm only 18!"_

Yada yada, mentally skipping ahead and smash cut to: _the man tossing her face down on his bed and in a dark, gravelly voice saying, "Don't worry, sweetheart, I know just what that tight little cunt needs."_

 _Rey squeezed her thighs together tightly, anxious for what the strong, domineering man would do to her next. She heard a fly unzip and then the clatter of belted pants hitting the floor. The bed dipped with his weight and he rested his hands on the back of her thighs as she lay prone on the mattress. With one hand, he brushed her sundress up over her ass and slid a finger beneath her panties to rub her wet, swollen pussy lips. She heard him chuckle softly before rubbing his finger along her needy, untouched cunt, "God damn, baby girl, you were really hurting before I scooped you up, weren't you? Pretty little virgin like you, just aching to have a real man come along and claim this cunt for himself?"_

 _Rey whimpered and spread her thighs slightly, submitting to him as the man tapped her clit with his thick middle finger, "Mm you need to cum, don't you, Rey?"_

 _Rey panted and bucked her hips to encourage him to move his hand faster, "Yes!! Please let me cum!"_

 _The man slowed his pace and leaned forward to brush her ear with his lips, "Now Rey, if I'm going to give you what you need I expect you to treat me with some respect and address me properly. Now tell me, who does this cunt belong to?"_

 _Crying out in frustration, Rey knew she would be left unsatisfied with his current movements, "Yes, Sir!! Please, please, Sir, make me cum! This pussy is yours!!"_

 _"Good girl. If you cum, it's going to be around my cock, do you understand? This cunt belongs to me and once I take your cherry, I will fuck it as hard and often as I want. Understood?" With that, the man removed his finger from her dripping quim and pressed the blunt head of his giant cock against her pussy lips._

 _"Yes Sir, please take me! I need you so badly." Rey tried to still her quivering thighs to allow him the access he needed to give her what she so badly desired. In one, tortuously slow movement, the man's cock sunk into her cunt, steadily stretching her hymen across all 8 inches of  him until he was hilted and her virgin blood pooled at the base of his cock. He moaned lecherously and cursed under his breath, "Fucking take it. You little cumslut, you love having your ripe cunt rawed, don't you?"_

 _Rey sobbed at the foreign sensation--half pleasure and half pain, stretched out and taken, awash in overwhelming ecstasy at the thought of being wanted and claimed by this powerful man._

 _"Fuck, baby girl, feels so good to be balls deep in this tight virgin pussy. Like it was made for me. Gonna ruin this cunt tonight. You're not leaving here until you've got a womb full of my cum."_

    "Unnnfff!!" Rey cried out as her walls spasmed around the thick dildo. She gently fucked herself through the orgasm before flopping her arm back on the bed. Her breathing returned to normal and rather than unpack the implications of that fantasy, she rubbed the stiffness out of her wrist. She really needed to get a double sided suction cup.

    Or an actual guy to fuck her.

    But goddamn, her first two boyfriends had been such a snooze. The first one was a guy from her freshman year of high school, they dated two years and lost their virginity to each other. He was decent at most everything, and kind, and respectful of Rey's boundaries. And at the time Rey didn't think she could ask for more. The second one came after she moved to Baltimore, and only lasted a few months before it was clear that he couldn't handle her baggage.

    What was going on with her, now that all she could fantasize about was a guy pushing her boundaries? Every fantasy was a variance on the theme of a domination and claiming. How cliche--she was a strong, independent woman, raised for many years by the same, exposed to all the feminist literature her adolescent mind could handle under Ms. Holdo's guidance. Her foster mother instilled in her a sense of power and ownership over her burgeoning sexuality and changing body that she never really appreciated until it was too late to say thank you. In the post-orgasmic shame-creep, she waged the war in her mind--a woman should not be ashamed of her sexuality...even if it involved wanting to give up all of the power and agency her fore-mothers fought so hard for. She blamed it on a Supernatural fan fic she had read months ago, and how it had unlocked a door into the darker side of her sexuality. How does one put that in a Tinder profile? "Looking for a thick cock attached to a man who's into consensual non-con. Must like heavy metal/early aughts indie rock and hardcore and like cuddling and only want to sleep with me and actually mean it when he says I'm his while he pumps me full of his cum" ha...yea. That person did not exist, and if he did he would run for the hills after reading that.  Rey knew she didn't want to settle for another vanilla guy, but she didn't want to waste her time fucking her way through Tinder to find one to suit her. Her friend Rose had brought up FetLife after Rey made a whispered confession at a drunken brunch, but all of the fake accounts and pestering messages scared her off. She wasn't looking for an appointment fuck in some dude's Red Room every Wednesday night at 8pm. She wanted a connection, a relationship, a future.

  Shaking off the urge to wallow in self pity, Rey hopped out of bed, cleaned and hid her toy, and got ready for her brunch date with Rose. They had plans to go to the cafe across the street from Poe's, since Rey knew the owner she hoped they would be spoiled with free appetizers and extra scoops of grits. She couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as her best friend pulled up to the curb in front of her building.

   "Hey slut!! Getting that pussy pounded?" Rose yelled out of her rolled down window, ever-eager to catch Rey off guard and make her blush.

   Rey stepped off the curb and entered Rose's car with a huff and an over-exaggerated pout, "You know I'm not!! Don't rub it in."

   Rose giggled and with a waggle of her eyebrows she murmured, "Makes one of us. Cassian's been hanging out when he delivers my weed."

  

   "Ugh, I don't know why you won't just drive to D.C. to get weed like a normal person. He gives me major creep vibes. Plus he never has cartridges."

 

   Rose cackled with glee and rushed out, "I know!! That's why I like him. He's such a perv. He'll do whatever I ask in bed, and get really into it and totally sell the fantasy. His dick's not bad either, and he doesn't argue about wearing a condom," eyes flicking down to fiddle with the playlist on her phone, Rose muttered, "And that's a hard combo to find in 2018, and definitely not with such convenience. He just shows up! With drugs!  But Yeaa, you're smart to have chosen celibacy." 

 

   Rey snatched the phone from her distracted friend's hand and groaned, "I didn't choose it, I just don't have the time nor the energy to wade through the duds. Guys my age aren't trying to be serious, and older guys think they can manipulate me because I must be dumb as fuck not to be in college at 21. After the way things went with Sidon, I'm not interested in another boyfriend that's gonna leave after 4 months. My new things is, I'm doing everything in my power to repulse every man who speaks to me. Speaking of which..." and at this moment "Helpless" from the Hamilton soundtrack started piping from Rose's car speakers.

 

Rey and Rose sang their hearts out on the short trip to Maz's. Rey directed her to park in the employee lot behind Poe's to save themselves the time and cost of using the nearby garage. Right as she was finishing a stirring performance as Hamilton-by-way-of-Ja-Rule, Rey noticed a face she hadn't seen since last Saturday observing her from the driver's seat of his Audi. He was talking on the phone but had clearly heard them blaring music as they pulled into the lot and parked. Their eyes met and he arched a dark eyebrow, clear as day against his alabaster skin. Realizing she was gaping at him like a trout, she snapped her jaw shut and turned to Rose to distract herself from the red flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck. So much for her tough-guy persona.

 

Rey and Rose passed a fun but not so boozy brunch at Maz's, since Rey had the Friday night shift. She knew her evening would be spent cleaning since weekends were their busiest times for walk ins, and breaking her neck from a fall off the ladder would really put a damper on her weekend.

 

 

@@@@@@@@@@

 

Kylo hadn't finish locking the shop's front door before the music hit him. It took him a moment to place it...was that...was that Bright Eyes? He was sure he hadn't heard this song since he was in high school, during his emo phase (yes, phase...grown men weren't described as emo, more like...broody). Could this be the same girl that yelled at him a week ago?

 

His curiosity compelled his feet forward until he was standing in the foyer of Poe's, ready to make a snarky comment when the sight of her makes him pause. She was on top of a ladder, arm fully extended to reach the dust in the far corner of a built-in bookshelf. Her back was turned to the door and she must've been oblivious to Kylo's presence because who in their right mind would publicly sing along with Conor Oberst in 2018? He takes in the strange decor of the shop--all light pine floors and geometric wallpaper and orange accents everywhere. It reminded him of the Creamsicles, or mango Bingsoo, or Indian lassis delivered in Styrofoam cups. Kylo became aware that his mouth was watering and he chastised himself--the texture of ice cream used to remind him of cold snot (used to, he can't remember the last time he partook), and he wasn't the type to indulge in sweets. He needed to go meet Armie and Phas, not stand here and reminisce about the time he fell off his bike and his dad bought him a Creamsicle from the passing icecream truck. He focused his eyes back on Rey and realized her song was about to end and he needed to leave before she caught him lurking around her store like an ogre. _Why the hell had he come in here?_ Just as he took a step towards the door, the floorboard creaked and a startled yelp filled the air.

 

Ben winced and slowly turned around, hands fisted deeply in the pouch of his plain black hoodie "Uhhh...."

 

"Yes???  Can you please explain what you're doing lurking around my shop?" Perched up on her ladder, Rey looked ready to dive bomb him and knock his teeth out.

 

Kylo cleared his throat and mumbled in a low tone, "Uhhh...the door was unlocked and I heard music?" He internally chastised himself...what the fuck kind of dumb answer was that? Shaking off his initial embarrassment, he removed his hands from the pouch and straightened his posture, hoping to strike a dignified figure and change the subject. Taking a few steps forward, he uttered, "You should lock your door after hours, what if I was a robber? You know, the Royal Farms on 41st has been held up 4 times this summer."

 

Rey rolled her eyes and started to climb down the ladder, muttering, "Ok Frankenstein, I appreciate your concern but Poe keeps a loaded 12 gauge under the counter in case of monster or human threats." In one fluid motion she produced the gun from under the counter, fixing Kylo with a steely, provoking stare as she laid it in front of her. He found himself admiring her gold-flecked eyes and upturned nose, completely unphased by the implied threat.

 

Kylo couldn't help himself, he enjoyed seeing this fiery girl get worked up. After she had yelled at him and walked away so proud last Saturday, he couldn't get her out of his mind. It was refreshing to interact with someone who wasn't afraid of him or trying to win his favor. Years of working as a sought-after tattoo artist had made him numb to flattery and feminine wiles--there was always someone trying to manipulate their way around the wait list and into a booking with him. He wanted to provoke a reaction from her, so in his most bored and disdainful tone he sighed, "Hm, I think what you're trying to say is Frankenstein's monster."

 

" _What?_ "

 

Barely containing a smirk, he continued, "I think you mean to call me Frankenstein's monster. You see, Frankenstein was the man who-"

 

"Oh fuck off." Rey rolled her eyes, re-racked the gun, and planted her palms on the wooden counter before leaning forward slightly, "Everyone knows that. Is that why you came in here, to lecture me about the groundbreaking 1818 novel that founded Science Fiction?"

 

Kylo reveled in her negative attention (he was the kind of kid to knock over toolboxes when his Dad was too busy working on the Falcon to take him to the movies), but he also recognized he was about 3 seconds away from having that shotgun pointed in his face, so rather than debate her on the fact that _Frankenstein_ was more gothic horror, and _The Last Man_ is often cited as the first science fiction novel, he let it go. He cleared his throat and with a very serious air he held her gaze for a beat before answering her, "I came to complain about the noise. See Poe and Hux have this agreement..."

 

Time seemed to slow down as Rey stared at him with narrowed eyes before laughing brightly but making no motions to turn down her music.  He was caught by surprise when she strode back to the ladder and resumed her dusting. Trying his best to sound casual, Kylo leaned against the counter and asked, "What're you working on?"

 

Rey looked over her shoulder and responded, "I'm cleaning up before tomorrow...weekends are always the busiest. Boss's orders. Not trying to be here all night."

 

He hummed in acknowledgement, "So are you going to stay on that ladder for the rest of this conversation? I’m not used to craning my neck to speak to people."

 

Rey just laughed and shrugged, "Sorry, I’m on the clock. What about you? Done for the day?"

 

Kylo wiped a hand down his face before muttering, "Yes but not really. Phasma and Hux are dragging me to happy hour down the street. I ought to get going before they think I've ditched them...well, goodnight then."

 

Rey flashed him a megawatt smile before turning back to her work and shouting over the music, "See you in the Promised Land...Arreverderche!"

 

@@@@@@@@@@

 

Rey did a bad thing after she closed up shop. OK, not _bad_ like arson, _bad_ like...breaking and entering without the breaking? _Bad_ like, briefly entering a car she wasn't supposed to and then leaving it exactly the way she found it. It couldn't be helped, honestly. He left his car unattended, gone to happy hour for who knows how long, and that beautiful piece of machinery was just sitting there. If she didn't know any better, she'd say it looked downright lonely. Rey always felt a kinship with lonely creatures, so, if the black Audi in the lot behind Poe's was calling out to her, who was she to say no?

It was so easy to slip back into old habits, using her re-programmable key fob to mimic the rightful owner's and take the car for a joy ride. She wasn't going to go crazy--just a quick spin around the block and no one would be the wiser. She relished the feeling of the soft, supple seats and the strong purr of the engine. From her place in the driver's seat, she was surrounded by the most intoxicating scent of leather and whiskey and oliban and liquidambar. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply through her nose; it was masculine and dark and mossy like the forest in autumn. Eyes still closed, she was about to adjust the seat and mirrors when she heard it--faint, but it was there. Tick, tick, tick, the smallest little rattle, at the same interval each time, as if on a loop, or a belt, or a chain...the timing chain! She vaguely remembered hearing about that issue with mid-2010s Audis, but she didn't feel bold enough to pop the hood and see for herself.

She couldn't put more miles on this car in good conscience--it needed to be serviced ASAP. She'd have to find...at this moment she realized she never caught his name during their two interactions. Well, she'd have to figure out a way to alert him to this issue without raising suspicions. The way he blasted music, there's no way that he heard the ticking while he was driving. With a quiet sigh, Rey killed the engine and took her shirt sleeve to wipe down the surfaces she had touched inside of the car. Locked up and wiped down as if she was never there, the black sedan faded into the darkness over her shoulder as she made her way to the bus stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to know your thoughts...it's been years since I've written anything this long, so I feel like I'm clearing out the cobwebs and still trying to find my style.


	3. September 12-15

  **September 12-15 **

 

 

 

   A few days later, Rey was perched on a stool out back behind the shop when she heared the tattoo parlor's back door slam. Huffing in annoyance, she shut her sketch book and leaned her head back against the outer wall, waiting for the coast to be clear for her to continue brainstorming new comic ideas. She expected to see Hux dropping off a trash bag in the dumpster they shared with Poe's that rested against the building between their two back doors, but instead she saw the increasingly familiar face of the guy whose car she almost stole... _borrowed_. _Temporarily_ stole. He had an unlit cigarette dangling between his plush, red lips and before she could hide, he was rounding the dumpster to stand right in front of her. She decided right then she definitely liked him better with his mouth shut, as he seemed to only use that unique, deep but nasally voice to make smart ass comments to her. Seeing him up close in broad daylight, she couldn't help but admire his appearance. His face was somehow more than the sum of its parts; deep set amber eyes, a long Roman nose, high cheek bones, full lips, and a narrow jawline. All together they made for a striking visage, complimented by his long black hair. A shame about his personality, then. What would it be today, she wondered? We he going to lecture her on proper stool posture?

"What's your name?" he murmured softly around his cigarette as he cupped one giant paw against the wind and lit it with the other, eyes never leaving hers. The intimacy of the moment struck her—the way he said those three short words made her feel like she was reliving a memory of meeting a man she had already known for years. Stuck on this thought, she couldn’t stop staring at his hands for a long beat before returning his gaze. She felt the urge to sketch his hands—they were enormous and nicely shaped and definitely worth in-depth study. She could fill a whole notebook with those hands. 

"Rey. What's yours?" If he was going to skip the pleasantries, so would she. She ended her question with a genuine smile he might mistake for simple friendliness, but if she was being honest with herself she was just really eager to watch him raise his hand to his mouth to take another puff. She despised cigarette smoking, but she was willing to make an exception today. Why was she so keen to observe this guy who she barely knew, who she wasn’t even sure she could stand to have a real conversation with? It wasn’t like her to get fixated on people, but all she could think right now is she wish she had another set of eyes with which to check out the rest of him while still maintaining their eye contact. Rey knew logically that she wasn’t a creep—this had to be hormones or something. What the hell was wrong with her? She swore to herself that she’d at least make an effort to find a one night stand this week. 

"Kylo. Why are you sitting out here next to the dumpster?" The way he asked her that struck her as odd, as if he expected to find her in front of a fireplace in some Swiss chalet, not hunched over an old stool an unsanitary distance away from a dirty dumpster.  He took a long drag on his cigarette (fuck, that looked amazing. Definitely going to revisit that image tonight) and turned his head to blow the smoke away from her before resuming their intense eye contact. Rey really needed to get it together. She felt her cheeks heating up and soon her perverted thoughts would be all over her face. 

"I'm on my break. Why bother with all that," she gestured to his muscled torso (yes, good, make it abundantly clear that you noticed how big his muscles are, surely that will convince Kylo that you haven't been ogling him), to her eyes so impossibly thick and sturdy like a tree trunk, she didn't think she'd be able to wrap her arms all the way around it, "and then smoke?"

Kylo just shrugged and let out the goofiest little chortle--jesus fucking christ Rey wanted (needed) that sound played on a loop inside her head. Seriously, fuck this guy for his affect on her--as his noncommittal reply.

"Well, if the cancer sticks don't kill you, that car might," with that Rey raised her chin, gesturing towards where his Audi was parked, "I heard it running the other day, sounds like your timing chain is loose. That's a known issue with that generation of S3s, you should get it looked at."

Kylo furrowed his brow and looked down as he ashed his cigarette before continuing, "All right, thanks... what've you got there? A sketch book? You're a gear head and an artist? Do you design for Poe?"

Taken aback by his sudden interest in her notebook, she immediately felt defensive. Subconscious physical response to this guy aside, she knew what it meant when someone bigger than her showed interest in her possessions. She was no stranger to school yard bullies playing keep away and taunting her for a laugh as she desperately jumped to grab her backpack. Her status as a poor orphan with a funny accent made her a prime target for cruelty back in New Mexico. She'd spent years cultivating an aura of toughness and nonchalance; sometimes all you have to defend yourself is an attitude and a mop handle. Judging by his height, she'd have to knock him over or pull him to the ground to get her sketchbook from his extended arm. Difficult, but not impossible. The fall would probably split his face open. Scowling from the memory and the auto response it triggered, Rey hugged her notebook to her chest, hopped off the stool, and made to carry it inside before muttering, "Is this fuckin' Jeopardy? Just smoke your cigarette."

 

@@@@@@@

 

Three days have passed since Kylo last saw Rey. He was puzzled at her reaction to his questions regarding her notebook--her body language had changed so suddenly, as if she really presumed he would snatch it from her and burn it with his cigarette. He was mulling over their few interactions, and he started to feel guilty that he made her feel threatened. He was always too blunt, too honest, too quick to point out when someone was wrong (the confidence of someone who thought they were right but were clearly wrong drove him crazy and lead to many shouting matches between himself and classmates in AP English Literature). His stupid face (like an old timey criminal, Bazine had once flippantly told him...she had a knack for saying the meanest shit and then teasing him for being sensitive when he looked hurt) and overgrown body didn't do much to put people at ease.

Frankenstein, she had called him. After the things he had done, things she wasn't even remotely aware of--she hadn't even known his identity when she called him that--he found the name fitting. He had tried to leave the things he'd done and the guilt associated with them back in California, but even three years of aimless wandering of the lower 48 didn't kill the past like he'd hoped. Just like Shelley's monster, he wandered the earth and failed to find a home. Moonlighting as a guest artist at shops everywhere from Seattle to New Orleans had been lucrative (no more manager taking his 30% cut), but awfully lonely. He hadn't consciously planned to move back to Baltimore, but all it took was a DM from Armie with an invitation for an open-ended guest spot and he found himself back in the place he gave so much to get away from.

He had just recently gathered the nerve to call his mom; he knew she would kill him if he let more than two weeks pass since being back in town. He was worried she would pass by Anakin's old house and see his car out front and call the cops or some shit. Of course she was over the moon, prattling on about Thanksgiving, and his birthday, _and_ Christmas get-togethers with extended family and friends. He tried his best to remain noncommittal without hurting her feelings with an all-out rejection. He knew he wanted to rekindle their relationship, but as an adult with boundaries and on his own terms.

He felt a wave of gratitude as he watched Phasma and Armie from across the booth at the bar, chatting about the sump pump they needed to buy for their basement--even 10 years on, they didn't make him feel weird for being the quiet one at the table. He enjoyed working alongside them in the smaller shop, and putting his notoriety to good use to attract new customers from as far away as Chicago. He had a sense of control over his own life that he had been lacking for a long, long time. Kylo liked tattooing because the job was tactile, he was the one in control. He was the one touching others and leaving his mark on them forever. He always disliked being touched casually, probably from a childhood of forced appearances at parties ("Oh Ben, play the piano for our guests won't you?") and handshakes and shoulder pats and awkward hugs when all he wanted to do was sit in his room and read Garth Nix books.

Suddenly, Phasma nudged her husband and said, "Look over at the bar, is that Rey?"

Kylo turned his head faster than he would care to admit and there she was, skin softly lit by the dim bar lights with eyes shining as bright as ever. She was wearing jean dress overalls over a grey tshirt whose logo he couldn't make out. She had on black tights and her hair was braided across her head like a crown, showing off the long chandelier earrings she wore. She looked lovely and he tried his best not to really, really want her to notice them and come over to their both.

He couldn't help but notice how bored Rey looked as some dweeby guy came on to her. Phasma cackled and then said to no one in particular, "Poor sap, he’s wasting his time."

Kylo turned back to Phasma and, again a little too quickly, asked her, "What're you talking about?"

Phasma preened and purred, "Have you met Rey yet? She's a fucking savage. I've never seen her give a guy the time of day. "

Kylo shrugged, "Maybe she's a lesbian? Asexual? In a relationship already?"

At that Phasma snorted, "Doubt it. Jessika's been barking up that tree for years. And she dated some guy briefly when she moved out here. Rey's definitely straight and single. The week after Thor Ragnarok came out, she and I debated who was more fuckable, Loki or Thor, for at least ten minutes."  
   
Armie, clearly trying to hide his annoyance with an oddly neutral tone, asked, "Who did you say?"

Simultaneously, Kylo piped up, "Who did she say?"

Seizing the opportunity to deflect the attention from herself, Phasma responded, "Rey said Loki. I quote," doing her best to imitate Rey's regional British accent she continued, "His hair is better and he could duplicate himself and watch you while he fucked you and talk dirty, plus if he got you pregnant you'd have a wolf baby and how fucking gnar would that be? Mother of wolves, like mother of dragons ya know?" Back in her regular posh lilt, she continued, "Somehow that evolved into us discussing Khal Drogo aka Jason Moama which, speaking of D.C. universe, turned into discussing which Batman was the most fuckable. Rey said the cartoon one--he had the best voice. Then I tried to get her to discuss Harry Potter but she said she never read the series; found it to be too depressing which was odd because who doesn't love Harry Potter?? She'd probably go for Snape anyway. What I'm trying to say is, Rey is kind of an enigma in the north-central Baltimore dating scene and I've been trying to crack that nut for years."

Kylo looked stunned and muttered, "Jesus, remind me never to tell you anything personal..."

"Ha ha, well how am I supposed to set you up with someone if I don't know what you're into? I've had at least 2 regulars beg me to set them up with Rey, and I won't do it because I know I'd be wasting her time. Although..." Phasma stopped short of finishing that thought as her eyes locked on a figure approaching their booth.

Before Phasma could address what just made her eyes twinkle, Rey wobbled over and shoved into the booth next to Kylo. She pressed against him and he felt so warm all of a sudden that he did the only thing he could think of... he said a silent prayer to whoever might be listening that he could get through this one interaction with her without coming off like a complete dickhead. 

Kylo turned his head and tucked his chin to watch Rey take a swig of her drink. He wanted to savor the feeling of her squishing him into the wall as she laid claim to her fair share of shoulder room. He leaned in closer to get her attention before murmuring just to her, “Thank you for the tip about the car, by the way. The mechanic found an issue with the timing chain like you said.” 

 He locked eyes with Rey and her lips parted into a Megawatt smile, “That’s brilliant!”

Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Phasma leaned in to her new booth mate, "Rey, when are we gonna get you in the shop? Not afraid of a little pain are we?"

Obviously riding that sweet spot of intoxication where everything feels amazing and problems are forgotten, Rey giggled the cutest sound Kylo has ever heard--it was like if a kitten crossed with that tiny squeaking frog from YouTube and rode a corgi. _That_ fucking cute, and he hated the word “cute” because Bazine would say it all the time but he was gonna make an exception for Rey’s giggle--and took a deep breath before launching into a story, "Actually, funny story. I have amazing pain tolerance. Like, seriously, I could beat anyone in a fight," at that she softly punched Kylo in the shoulder, still sober enough to check his face for hurt or anguish or anger (he was happy to reassure her he’s unharmed with a quirk of his lips and a nod of encouragement like, _yes, sweetheart, you’re very tough and fierce just like the Desert Rain Frog and I_ see _you_ ), "just based on endurance alone. So get this--one time, when I was in high school, I was running through my foster father's junkyard at night and I tripped and ate it really hard and dislocated my shoulder. Hoofed it to his house by the light of the moon and snuck onto the old bastard's computer and watched a YouTube video on how to fix it. Fixed it myself right there in the kitchen. Didn’t even cry.” 

 Rey puffed up with pride and grinned at the three of them, waiting for their reaction to the story that she referred to as _funny_. 

Kylo was the first to speak, cautiously asking, “Why didn’t you just ask your foster father for help?”

  She started laughing in his face, which again, _odd_ , definitely odder than that random PeeWee reference from last week, “Oh man that’s rich. He probably would’ve yanked the other one out to match just for costing him the ER visit.” Kylo had never hated someone as much as he did her foster father right now. A million questions ran through his mind at that moment and none of them were appropriate to ask this women to whom he’d spoken all of 6 sentences. All he could do is remind himself to close his mouth before she took notice of his bemused expression. He caught Armie’s eyes and the red headed man grimaced and nodded a silent confirmation before looking down at his beer. 

 Rey slaked her thirst with a long pull on her Long Island before turning back to Phasma to continue their conversation, “You know what, I think I could go for another lobe piercing. I just don’t have time to baby a cartilage piercing, I’m always covered in grease.”

 Later on as the evening wound down, Kylo decided to offer Rey a ride home. He wasn’t sure where her car was, but it was clear she was in no state to drive.   He never was a big drinker, so by the time Arnie and Phas were calling it quits he felt completely sober. 

 “So uh Rey, can I offer you a ride home? Save you the Uber?” Kylo rocked on his heels as he watched her consider his offer. Her eyes flicked over the remaining crowd and back to his face. 

 “Erm...no offense but I don’t go to secondary locations with strangers. Also I’m gonna stay to watch band.”

 He laughed and said, “Oh so I’m a stranger?”

 “Yes, I don’t even know your last name.”

 “Solo.”

 She snorted but then caught herself before letting a full laugh out, “Hold on, your name is _Kylo Solo?!_ ”

 Ben rolled his eyes at her question, he would never choose such a rhyming alias, “Actually, my given name is Ben Solo. My DBA is Kylo Ren.”

 “Oh, hmm. Well, nice to meet you Ben Solo. I’m Rey Niima.” Ben grasped her extended hand in his own and he swore he felt a spark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introductions are done, we’re starting to get to the good stuff! I updated the chapter count to 20. The back half of this fic is going to be super smut heavy so stay with me. I like my Reylo smut with relationship context and UST, so that’s what you guys are gonna get. :)
> 
> You might have noticed that Ben and Rey’s timelines are a little off compared to TLJ. Ben has already separated himself from Snoke before he meets Rey. My take on Modern AU Rey is a bit more world weary (I feel like we get a small glimpse of that in TFA), so I’m trying to explore that side of her without going too OOC. 
> 
> Constructive criticism welcome!


	4. September 22-25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is super long! It’s my favorite so far, I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

 

 

 **September** **22** - **25**

  
Rey was just settling in to clean the letterpress rollers when Finn burst into the back room of shop, cursing under his breath as he kicked the door shut behind him. "Pedestrians have the right of away, asshole!"

Rey sat down the can of mineral spirits and cautiously waved a gloved hand at her friend. It took a lot to get Finn swearing. Between her and Poe he almost instituted a swear jar for the shop, "Good morning, you ok?"

"Hey Peanut, I was doing fine until that new guy from First Order almost ran my foot over. Jerk wasn't paying attention in the parking lot and had the nerve to yell at ME after he had to slam on his brakes. Have you seen this guy yet?" Rey opened her mouth to speak but Finn's rant continued as he hung up his jacket and palmed his phone to silence the ringer, "I can’t believe that jerk is Leia’s son. I overheard him on the phone with her the other day, yelling at her about one of her fucking parties. Leia’s parties rule... Who isn't trying to get that invite?!"

Rey pursed her lips, turned back to her work, and did her best to sound casual, "Hmm yea I've met him...said his last name was Solo, though. I didn't realize Leia was his--oh my god, is Han Solo his dad??"

Waving his hands dramatically, Finn rushed to her side, "That's what I'm saying! How could two cool people end up with a son like that? I heard that he hasn't been back to see his parents in a decade!" Finn’s eyes widened in realization and he gasped loudly, "Have you seen his IG? He's clearly a sociopath.”

"Hold on...how do you know so much about him? Did Leia stop in?"

"No no no, Phasma and I play kickball together and she spilled the tea." Finn said dismissively, looking up from his phone to catch Rey arching an eyebrow. 

"You  _know_  I'm nosy, don't judge me. Supposedly he came back here to reconnect with his family, sounds like he's off to a  _great_  start. Ok, so check this out, I did some sleuthing..."

Finn shoved the phone in her face, finger poised to scroll for her as she read out loud, " @kyloren.. Call @1storder for bookings, don't fucking DM me," Rey snorted, hearing those words in Ben's voice.  _Damn it, Ben, knowing you're a bad boy turned good has made you even more of a babe._  Stupid horny brain--the fumes in this room must be getting to her. 

"Ok so first of all, he couldn't say please? Imagine if we treated our customers that way! I answer the same 4 DM'ed questions on our account all day, it's annoying but it's part of doing business on social media. Our social group has a delicate balance and I just know he’s gonna tear shit up. Phasma and I are finally getting along! Whatever, he’s probably not gonna be here long anyway." 

Finn scrolled down to reveal some more photos where she recognized the inside of Hux's business.

"Hmm...it's just photos of his work. Duuude, these are actually really well done!! Click on the one of the grandma...Wowwww, I did not think he was  _this_  good. Keep scrolling...hm, there's literally not a photo of a plate of food or a pet or a human face anywhere."

"Thank you! Like I said, sociopath. He doesn't have another account, I checked. He's only tagged in photos as @kyloren. Even from the photos when he lived in California, there's nothing personal. Phasma said he used to work for some criminal before he died."

"What about his tagged photos? Are those scrubbed?"

Just as Finn tapped the screen, they heard the the soft jingling of the bell that announced a visitor. Finn scurried across the workshop to pop his head into the showroom, before calling back to Rey flatly, "It's just Cassian."

Her presence revealed, Rey sighed and rose to her feet and without touching anything, crossed the threshold into the showroom to greet Cassian. She leaned against the door jam and let her hands fall to her sides, “Hi, Cassian.”

Cassian made no effort to hide how his eyes traveled down her body, practically purring with delight, "Cariña...You’re like a star, so beautiful to admire and so far to touch. I’ve got business with the other lovely lady of this building and I wanted to share some good news with my favorite customer... I have found a source for mushrooms and soon I will have some available for you to try in an exclusive sneak peek. I remembered that you expressed interest in them this summer.” Cassian winked and shot her a confident smile. 

Rey nodded, uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the man whose sexual proclivities she knew way too much about thanks to Rose. However...she couldn’t help but be excited about the prospect of trying psilocybin for the first time. She could endure his leering for now. 

@@@@@@@

 

  
Next door, Ben was prepping for his first appointment of the day. When he heard the door open, he craned his neck, expecting to see the face of his client returning for the second half of his sleeve.  He recognized the short man in the tan jacket as Phasma’s drug dealer. Cassius? Cyrus? He wasn’t one to judge people for what they did in their personal life, but he didn’t like the guy. The way he prattled and flattered struck Ben as insincere and smarmy. 

Not sparing another glance at the lobby, he shouted for Gwen, “Phas get out here!”

He wasn't trying to eavesdrop on their meeting, but Phasma was cackling at his jokes like a madman. He frowned in concentration, trying to tune them out but it was impossible. Curiosity getting the better of him, he glanced up to see Cassian handing Gwen a small baggie of pills. He caught his eye and said, “Do not worry, my friend. This is just molly. I don’t sell opiates. Have you ever had MDMA? It’s effects are amazing, it will make a nympho of the shyest girl.” 

Cassian winked at him (mega creep status confirmed) and looked back to Phasma before continuing, “You should give some to our little turtle dove to try, I can tell she needs it bad. I was just in her company, and I could practically  _smell_   _it_  on her.”

Ben couldn’t help himself, thinking out loud in disbelief, “Are you talking about Rey?”

Cassian grinned down at the cash he was counting, “Why yes I am. Mark my words, we will be lovers before the year ends.” Yep, Ben hated this guy. He was pretty confident Rey would hate him too after hearing the way he spoke about her.  _Turtle dove_ , bleh, Rey would hate a stupid nickname like that. She was more like one of the sparrow hawks that hunted in English gardens. 

Phasma must have noticed Ben’s hard stare at the tattoo transfer sheet he was fisting, because she placed a hand on Cassian’s shoulder and rushed out, “OK Cassian, lovely seeing you as always, let me walk you out.”

No doubt Gwen had heard the rumors of Ben’s destructive tendencies, but he had put all of that behind him. He wasn’t going to fuck up this gig after Armie threw him a life raft. That was just another part of the life Snoke had crafted for him, one that he had no interest in recreating in Baltimore. After Cassian's visit, his day flew by as he did anything he could find to keep his mind occupied. If he wasn't working on a client, he was cleaning and then re-cleaning his tools. He tried to ignore the sly smile on Phasma's face when he volunteered to take out the trash. 

Nighttime had arrived, and the parking lot was empty save Ben's Audi. He was sitting in the driver's seat of his car with the door flung open to accommodate a long, jean-clad leg that bounced nervously above the concrete. He felt his frustration peaking as he mashed buttons and turned his key, desperate to knock loose whatever was preventing his dash lights from coming on. Dome light, on off on off. Headlights, wipers, horn, radio, all of them worked. Growing up around Han and Uncle Chewie, he had picked up a decent knowledge of cars (through osmosis more than anything, first Han wasn't around enough to give proper lessons, and then Ben wasn't around to receive them), definitely enough to know the issue was more localized than a dead battery. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing and cursing to himself under his breath, "Fucking perfect."

He hadn't noticed her approach, too lost as he was in his own thoughts and angry attempts at troubleshooting. It was as if she appeared out of thin air to hesitantly ask him, "Hey, having trouble?"

Ben jolted and ducked his head to see her shadowy figure standing outside of his car, a few paces from his open door. The streetlight that partially illuminated their parking lot was too far to touch her, and yet her face still seemed to glow as if the moon had blown away all of the clouds obfuscating its light just so it could reach her. 

"Erm, yeaa...my dash lights won't come on. I can't drive home like this, all my gauges are digital. I'm gonna have to take fucking Uber home." He spat that last part out a little too forcefully; Rey didn't need to know about his history with the ride sharing company.

"I saw you honk the horn and turn all of the other lights on...sounds like your battery is still putting out 12 volts. Let me see your FSM."

Ben's lips parted as he took in Rey's change in demeanor. She was standing with one hand on his door now, pulling it further open like she expected him to get out of her way.

"You have one with you, right? Your factory service manual?"

"Oh yea, yea...it's in the trunk, hold on." Ben pushed the button on his dash to pop the trunk and made to retrieve it. Once the tome was in her hands, her fingers moved deftly to find the table of contents and then flipped to a diagram at the back of the book. She worked silently after she found what she needed, first closing the manual and resting it on his car roof, then reaching into her messenger bag and pulling out a small plastic box full of blue-capped fuses. Ben idly chewed on his index finger as he watched her kneel beside the driver's seat and reach into the fuse box that rested underneath the steering column. 

Fuse swapped, Rey held the old one to the light to examine the blackened prongs before stuffing it in her back pocket. She pulled herself up to sit in the driver's seat and turned the car on. The car roared to life, dash lighting up like a Christmas tree. Rey smiled as she smoothed her hand across the leather steering wheel, finally breaking her silence with a deep breath, "You had a blown fuse. Good as new." 

Before he could stop himself, Ben heard the words rush out of his mouth, "Let me give you a ride, as thanks." He noticed her still in his seat, considering his offer. He felt a small thrill at the idea of spending more time with her. He met her eyes and continued, "Thank you, for fixing it."  

"Of course! But...no thanks, I've got errands to run."

And yet, she wasn't making any moves to vacate his car. Seizing the opportunity that her hesitation presented, he blurted out the only thing he could think of, "I love running errands!" He  _hated_  running errands. Ben loved a lot of things: Tolkien, black coffee, the guitar solo from _Mr_. _Crowley_ , but errands were not one of them. That was probably the stupidest thing he'd ever said to a girl, and he had been an  _eighth grade boy_  once. 

Rey eyed him suspiciously but kept her hands firmly planted on the steering wheel. Her arms were fully extended from how far he kept his seat pushed back, "Fine, as long as I can drive."

Ben pulled his bottom lip with his teeth, "Uh-uh. Get up."

"No? Ok fine, then I'm picking the music." Rey hopped into the passenger's seat, mercifully missing his pristine leather seats with her dirty boots. Ben returned the manual to his trunk and joined her in the car. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so eager to spend time with another person. Solitude mostly suited him, and he rarely went out of his way to make friends. 

"So, where are we going?"

"Grocery store. Just take Cold Spring west for a few miles."

Ben eased the car out of the lot and began their journey. Rush hour was over and they practically had the street to themselves. He fiddled with the car's touchscreen for a moment before saying, "You can connect your phone to the Bluetooth, just tap add device."

"I'd rather see what you have, do you mind?" her hand hovered above the phone that he had stashed in his cup holder, presuming permission but still awaiting it, "Promise I won't snoop."

"Be my guest."

Rey turned the brightness down on his phone and started scrolling, "Oh damn, you've got some good stuff on here. Slipknot, Modest Mouse, Taking Back Sunday? I bet we would’ve been friends in high school. You were _so_ emo, weren't you?" Before he could answer, the opening notes of "You're So Last Summer" began.

Ben grimaced and replied, "Maybe I played this album on a loop after every breakup I've ever had.  _Maybe_."

Rey only nodded knowingly before starting to sing,  _"She said don't! Don't let it go to your head!"_

Ben couldn't contain the smile spread across his face. He would be the first to admit that he wasn't known for his sense of humor about himself. Rey's teasing didn't bother him at all because it felt more like they were bonding over their mutual love of this silly, dramatic song. All the teasing in the world was worth it for how her face lit up when he harmonized with her for the song's peak,  _"The truth is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt."_

Rey's singing devolved in a fit of laughter, "Ahh I love that song. Who doesn't feel like that when they're 17?" 

 

_Or_ _28_ , but that was neither here nor there.

 

Rey continued, "I'm more of a Senses Fail fan myself. I find their description of wanting to push an ex off a building very relatable." 

"Oh? Bad breakup recently?"

Rey groaned, "No, after I broke up with my last boyfriend a few years ago I bought a vibrator and never looked back. Oh hey, we're here. Pull in over there."

Ben was grateful for the distraction; he was sure he had no idea how to respond to that revelation without sticking his foot in his mouth. He wasn't used to speaking so frankly about sex with his best friend, let alone a girl he barely knew. 

 

He paused as Rey unbuckled her seat belt and opened her door. The dome light illuminated her face as she asked, "Aren't you coming? I thought you  _loved_  errands." 

 

She was totally on to him. _Women always learn the truth,_ Han used to tell him that. 

Ben had never been in a store like Aldi before. It made him ponder the contrast between their upbringings--both of his parents were successful business owners, and his mother was the adopted daughter of a prominent senator. By the time she learned of her biological father's identity and inherited the trust fund he had left her, she was successful enough to not need the money. Grandpa Anakin's blood money, she had called it. She put it away for Ben's college fund, naturally assuming her son would attend the most expensive, prestigious schools until he had at least 2 PhDs under his belt. She was disappointed with his decision to pursue art, but made no moves to block him from his inheritance. Even when he was first starting out, he was always able to afford a nice place and never struggled financially.

He emerged from his reverie to catch Rey eyeing him as if she was daring him to make a disparaging comment. He suddenly felt very self conscious. It was obvious from the look of the store and the offbrand boxes that lined the shelves that this place did not compete with Whole Foods. The weight of his intrusion hit him all at once; if he felt like a tourist, Rey must've felt like an animal at the zoo. He couldn't put a word on what he was feeling, but he knew that his heart lurched at that thought. He had basically invited himself along and was dumbly standing there like the rich kid who never had to look at price tags. He couldn’t help his family’s circumstances, but he’d be damned if he would let them make her feel lesser. 

He needed to do something to make himself useful; guarding (leaning on) the cart as she fetched items around them wasn't enough. She clearly didn't need his help reaching anything; she was tall for a woman and the shelves were low anyways. She must've sensed his discomfort with the silence, because she came to his rescue (that was becoming a regular thing), "How old are you?"

"28." 

 

That was it—he would entertain her questions if that’s how she wanted to pass the time. 

"Why did you move to Baltimore?" 

Ben followed her with the cart (finally, something to do with his hands), trying to piece together the meal she was going to make based on what landed in her basket, "I'm from here. My parents live in Silver Spring now."

Can of black beans, three cans of whole tomatoes, "How long will you stay?"

"Indefinitely, I like First Order. I went to high school with them. They don't give me shit or make me take walk ins."

Box of quinoa, small bag of sugar, a chocolate bar with toasted almonds, "Where do you live?"

"I inherited my Grandfather's house in Gilford." Rey's back was turned to him when he replied, but he pictured her crossing her eyes at him. Was there a way to tell someone that and not sound like a spoiled rich kid? He could’ve just said “a house” or “by work” but it felt good to tell her an absolute truth about himself. He wanted to tell her all of it. 

Yogurt cup, yogurt cup, yogurt cup, yogurt cup, yogurt cup, yogurt cup, holy shit this girl really liked mixed-berry yogurt, "Did you go to college?" 

"No, I became an apprentice to my Grandfather’s old collaborator. Grandfather was a tattoo artist, too, he helped popularize photo realism in black and gray tattooing. Anakin Skywalker, went by Darth Vader professionally." 

When Rey rounded on the cart, arms full of bags of frozen vegetables, she met Ben's eyes for the first time during her inquiry, "I didn't go to college, either. Not that I'd be finished if I had--I'm 21. So right now I'm actively  _not going_  to college." She leaned down into the cart to gently release her payload before flicking her eyes back up to his, "I've heard of Darth Vader. Didn't he go crazy and..." 

Rey trailed off as Ben's expression darkened. It took all of his self control to not spit out the next words, "He had a  _disease_. His mentor got him  _so_  addicted to heroin, he couldn't function without it for more than a few hours. His greatest accomplishments were made at the height of his addiction. He had a dark side but I try to separate the art from the artist."  

Yea, the artist that choked his heavily pregnant wife so bad she died before she got to hold her children in her arms. That was the man he had spent years worshiping.  _Foolish child._  He shook his head in an effort to clear his mind. He scrambled for something to say. Rey had been doing most of the work to keep their conversation afloat. What the fuck do people talk about on their way to becoming friends? He felt that last word slosh around in his brain. Besides Hux and Phasma, he had not made any friends in his new old city yet. The prospect of hanging out with Rey made him want to make an effort to seem like good company (he wasn’t sure how long he could keep up that charade. Maybe better to be honest from the start).

Before he could open his mouth to change the subject, Rey simply shrugged as she returned to her full height and gave him a reassuring smile, "I grok it. It's hard to examine any artist’s life and not see something worth despising. Lovecraft, Orson Scott Card, Frank Miller. How can someone who writes so beautifully have so much hate in their heart? I think you have to look at them in the context of their time and circumstances. And start holding the people who are alive today to a higher standard. I don't think having a talent makes you inherently good, it won't save your soul. Only your actions can do that.” 

Ben was vaguely aware of his mouth and tongue working together to speak a reply, but his mind was a thousand miles away back in California. He instantly recognized the feeling that was washing over him as his breath caught and he held Rey's stare, "I couldn't agree more." 

His stupid heart was hammering in his chest like the first time he saw that damn  _Ash Nazg_  on Bazine's finger. This girl just said  _grok_. That wasn't a mistake, right, she literally just used the word Heinlein  _himself_  invented. He had a tshirt with that word on it in tenth grade.  He probably still had it somewhere, maybe he could dig it out and---and  _what_ , dummy? Wear it to the shop every day until he could run into her and say 'Hey remember that time you said grok and changed my mind about errands?' He didn't even want to get  _started_  on the rest of what she said--name dropping two of his top five favorite scifi writers and expressing an understanding of the complexities that make people do evil things and a belief in the hope that they can overcome them. His mind kept coming back to a gold ring as it circled a drain. He was really getting ahead of himself. He nervously ran a hand through his hair before letting out a puff of air, "Where to?"

  
Rey paid for her groceries and he was greeted with another oddity; he had never been to a store where you have to bag your own groceries before. Using his long limbs to his advantage, he made quick work of bagging her stuff. He took care to bag cold with cold, heavy items on the bottom and weight distributed evenly through the two tote bags Rey had pulled from her backpack. He worked so quickly, she barely had time to reach into the trolley. He calmed her fears before she could protest, "Relax, I'm a pro. I worked as a cashier at Wegmans for a summer in high school." 

Just as he fisted the handles and moved to pick them up, she voiced her protest, "You really don't have to do that, I only buy what I can carry."

He couldn’t tamp down the tiny voice inside of him that insisted he do this for her. The bags weren’t even that heavy, so he knew logically this wasn’t an impressive feat of strength. Maybe it was just a remnant of the manners Leia tried to drill into him, "S’ok, you pop the trunk open." 

Ben tossed her his keys and made his way to the door as Rey pushed the empty cart behind him. Calling over his shoulder he asked, "So Coheed and Cambria 2014, huh? That was a really good tour, I saw them in LA. Are they your favorite band?"

"Hm yes but...Death Cab and The Decemberists are in a three way tie with them for first. I've seen The Decemberists four times, and every time they were better than the last! I guess you could say concerts are my splurge. Ben Gibbard can't sing live to save his life though. I saw the Postal Service anniversary tour and was so disappointed.”

They talked music for the whole ride home, swapping concert stories and "top 5" lists. Rey directed him to pull in front of her building in the fire zone. It was a modest brick building in the outskirts of Remington, not the most dangerous neighborhood as far as Baltimore went but not one Ben would feel comfortable living in. Definitely not if he was a single girl like Rey. He parked the car and made to undo his seat belt when Rey's voice stopped him, "Don't worry about it, I’ve got it from here. Thanks for the lift! Maybe I'll see you guys at Ottobar on Monday."

Sensing the finality of her words, Ben popped the trunk and nodded his goodbye, "Any time. Good night, Rey."

 

@@@@@@@

 

Two days later, Ben was leaning against a column at The Ottobar, back to the bar as his eyes scanned the crowd. He threw back the rest of his Bulleit and Coke and tossed the plastic cup in the trash. Hux and Phasma hadn't had to twist his arm to get him to join them. They didn't need to know that he didn't really care about getting out of the house or lied about needing a drink to unwind after a busy weekend. If he was being completely honest with himself, he was just there because he liked the opening band. Yep, completely honest.

The night was almost over before he finally spotted Rey, or rather, Rey's three buns that he now considered her trademark, bouncing to the beat of a cover of "Parabola" right in the middle of the circle pit. Upon further observation, Ben realized the kids (he wasn't ashamed to admit he had aged out of that particular activity) down there were doing a lot more than running in a circle. People were shoving, elbowing, and wildly throwing fists. She appeared to be alone. His first thought was that Rey had been swept up in the tide of bodies, but no, there she was, moshing like she had just taken a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart. His eyes never left her, appointing himself her spotter whether she needed it or not. She disappeared from his eye line briefly before reemerging a few feet to the left with a bloody nose and a dazed look on her face. He saw her touch her face and examine the red on her fingers with confusion before letting out a war cry and vaulting at the petite, green-haired girl to her right. 

Before Rey could fist her fingers in the girl's hair, Ben was on her, sweeping out her legs with his arm and hoisting her to his chest for a bridal carry. He tucked her tightly against himself as he maneuvered them towards the exit.  Probably out of fear she’d be dropped, her fingers laced into themselves behind his head and her fingertips gripped onto strands of his hair. The confusion on her face was quickly replaced with irate fury, "Ben?! What the fuck, man, put me down! I can walk perfectly fine. All you’re doing is bumping people. Don’t use me as a battering ram!"  

  
She wiggled in his grip but he held fast, leaning down to speak in her ear as he approached the exit, "Your nose is bleeding like a faucet."

"So?! I'm missing the song!!"

As he side stepped the bouncer, the man reached out to put a hand on Rey's arm, "Hey Miss, are you ok?"

Before Rey could answer, he shouted over the music, "No, she’s not OK, my friend is shit faced and she got a bloody nose.” 

Ben didn’t wait for his reply; he shouldered past the people loitering at the door and got outside. He hadn’t realized Gwen and Armie had followed them until he’d made it to the parking lot. Gwen lit a cigarette and responded to his unspoken question by laughing out, “I’m not missing this.”

Ben sat Rey down on her feet and placed his hands on her shoulders, doing little to hide the concern in his voice, “Hey, are you ok? Here, tilt your head back...”

 

Even outside, the lyrics from Parabola could be heard. _I_ _know_ _the_ _pieces_ _fit_...

 

Rey batted away his hands as he tried to touch her face. Peering down her chin as she tilted her head back, she balled her fists and indignantly replied, “No, I’m not OKAY _, Benjamin.”_

 

Ben already knew this wasn’t going to end well. 

 

 “For some fucking reason I’m standing outside when I should be in _THERE—”_

Rey flung her arm behind her so violently that she wobbled. She was definitely shithoused, “—occupying the spot I fought very hard for.” 

 

Rey gestured to her nose and paused for dramatic effect, “I had an argument. No, a disagreement. Some bitch with green hair tried to take my spot so I elbowed her in the ribs when the pit started and she sucker punched me.”

 

Rey was fuming as she aimed all of her drunk fury squarely at him. He felt his hackles start to rise but did his best to center himself against the bourbon-soaked voice that egged him on, “Woa! Calm down, kid. If I hadn’t stopped you from whalloping that girl, you would’ve been thrown out anyway and probably banned for life! I did you a favor.”

 

Lowering her nose to see him better, she snarled, "Of course you don't understand, I don't think you've ever missed a meal in your life!” 

 

He fucking knew it. His fucking family and their fucking money and the fucking inescapable _mess_ of it all. He fucking hated the thought of their pasts getting between them. That was it, then, she was going to treat him like the rich prick she had pegged him for and he would act the part for her. He seethed and gave in to the influence of the liquor soaking his brain. 

 

He pulled out his wallet and waved his loose cash in her face before angry-whispering at Rey.  He was buzzed and thinking about why he left Baltimore in the first place, not about how he was probably digging himself deeper, “Sorry for ruining your fucking evening. Here, take it.”

 

She looked absolutely feral as she bared her teeth and shouted, “How fucking _dare_ you, you oaf, you Sasquatch, you fucking  _Frankenstein's Monster!!”_

  
Phasma barked a laugh at her tirade. She leaned over to her husband and muttered, “Who bothers to say Frankenstein’s Monster? Just say Frankenstein, everyone knows who you mean. Literally no one references Dr. Frankenstein.”

  
She looked liked a goddamned goddess of war with the blood streaming down her nose and around her mouth as she hurled insults at him. The image reminded him of Daenerys when she ate the horse heart on Game of Thrones. She was tough and fierce, the perfect advisary, and he wanted to cross swords. If they weren’t already making a scene they were about to be. It didn’t slip by him that she was calling him out for being a pedantic asshole. His alcohol-soaked brain decided to escalate, and he yelled at her with a cruelty that reminded him of Snoke, “Let it go!!”

 

It was like the tension between them snapped. His stomach curdled when he saw her face fall and the shine of tears on her cheeks. He crossed the line like he always fucking did. She stared daggers at him and in an eerily calm voice she murmured, “I hope for your sake that my eyes are bleeding too.”

 

Rey stepped around him, crossed her arms over her stomach, went to stand behind Phasma. He recognized the embarrassment on her face; he had been an angry crier as a child and found it utterly humiliating. He was such an asshole. Could he exist without making this girl feel uncomfortable? The thought sobered him and cooled his temper. He had to fix this. 

 

Ben gingerly approached her, pointedly avoiding eye contact with the peanut gallery as he moved. He slowly crouched down  in front of her (he had learned this trick for approaching animals and children, make yourself small) and gently took her hand in his before making his most expedient apology on record, “Rey, I am so sorry for ruining your concert. You looked dizzy and I didn’t want you to get hurt further. That’s no excuse for yelling at you and acting like an asshole. Please let me make it up to you. Anything you want.”

 

She left her hand in his but shook her head and mumbled, “Forget it.”

 

Ben squeezed her hand and pleaded with her with soft eyes, “Rey, I’m serious. I’ll even let you drive my car.” 

 

The small smile that crossed her face reassured him that hope was not lost yet. He tested the waters with a lighter tone, “Just not tonight, you’re not fit to drive.”

 

Rey mumbled something about already being able to drive his stupid car whenever she wanted. The night air had _not_ had the sobering affect on her he had hoped for. She sighed deeply and held his eyes, “For the crime of yanking my heart-guts, I want 50 sushi rolls, paid out over 1 year, at my request.”

 

Ben stood to his full height and shook her hand, “Agreed.”

 

Rey grinned at him like she had just disarmed him in battle and spared him the finishing blow from his own sword. He couldn’t compute how this was a punishment, “You are forgiven. Don’t cross me again.”

 

A tentative peace established, Hux tapped Rey’s shoulder to  offer her a hanky to wipe her face. With a sneer at Ben, she wiped her nose and said, “Thank you, Huxtable. You’re _always_ a gentleman.” 

 

Without another word, Rey started off in the direction of her house but paused as she reached the edge of the parking lot. She looked at the three of them and threw up her arms in frustration. She hollered in their direction, “Newsflash! It’s dark and I’m still fucked up and Uber is surging right now and I’m scared to walk home alone.”

 

Ben didn’t even have to ask Phasma and Hux to follow them. He was lucky to have friends who were no stranger to him making scenes in public with his outbursts. The three of them headed towards her and and they set off in the direction of her house. A block into their walk, Rey stopped, turned around to face Ben, and said, “Kneel." 

 

He must’ve heard her wrong. He twisted his face in confusion, “The fuck?" 

 

Phasma could barely hide the excitement in her voice, “You better do what she says." 

 

He kneeled with a huff and eyed her expectantly, “Yes? Why am I kneeling on this dirty, cold street?”

 

He braced himself for a slap in the face. While it was not totally uncalled for, he thought they had settled their differences already. Her hand was so small, it would probably leave a delicious sting. He’d never been slapped by a girl before, and the thought of being publicly humiliated by her made his cock twitch. He had no idea where that idea came from; he had always been a dominant lover and never had the inclination to switch. Now was not the time to be re-examining his sexuality. 

 

With full sincerity, she replied, "My feet hurt, I want a piggy back ride." 

 

He snorted and made to stand up. He cursed himself for being a sick fuck. Of course this wasn’t going to go like he thought. Her victory was going to her head. She was shameless. 

 

“Oh, OK. Are those muscles just for show?”

 

He relented because it was late and he was ready to get home. Wanting to prove himself worthy of her observation had nothing to do with it. This wasn’t about his inner caveman’s desire to impress the girl he’d been spending too much time thinking about. She was turning the tables on him and reclaiming being carried on her own terms. She made a show of mounting him and securing her arms around his neck before saying, “OK, giddy up.”

 

She tapped his sides like she was spurring on a horse and cracked herself up, barely choking out the word between the giggles, “Andale!”

 

He used his forearms to boost up her legs and held her ankles securely around him. Not needing directions to her apartment and no longer slowed by a wobbly drunk, he picked up the pace. Halfway there, he felt her go slack against him. Her face was pressed into his neck so hard he felt every twitch of her lips. He tried his best to ignore what that did to him and focus on navigating. Shaking her foot gently, he asked, “What apartment are you in?”

 

She mumbled sleepily right below his ear, “2B, second floor. Keys are clipped to m’belt”

 

For a moment, Ben’s world narrowed around them. It was just the two of them traveling down the quiet residential street that held her apartment. He could feel the soft mounds of her breasts pressing into his shoulder blades and the strong muscles of her thighs gripping his waist. She bounced softly as he climbed her stairs and crossed the threshold of her apartment. It wasn’t until the four of them filled Rey’s tiny living room that Gwen broke the silence, “So Ben....how do you know where Rey lives?”

 

Ben mumbled something about giving her a ride one time. He was too distracted by the sight of her apartment to take Gwen’s bait. He envied anyone who got to spend time here. There was art everywhere; her walls were covered in framed concert posters and photos. He recognized the purple logo of an open eye on one of them, it advertised a live show for _Welcome_ _to_ _Nightvale_. He wished Rey was more lucid so he could ask her about it. 

 

Ben carried Rey deeper into the apartment until he found her bedroom. He felt embarrassed by his intrusion; admiring her living room was one thing, but here he felt like an interloper in her most private space. He kept his eyes down and focused on his task. As he peeled her off of him, a thought passed through his mind...what would it feel like to be welcomed into this space? He would be free to cast his eyes about, not worried about catching a glimpse of something she’d be embarrassed to show a stranger. He wouldn’t be a stranger. He yanked off her boots and examined the dried blood under her nose as he mused to himself. Did Rey feel the same intense curiosity about him?

 

Gwen appeared at Rey’s bedside with a warm washcloth and handed it to him. With a tender swipe of his finger across her eyelids, he checked her for false eyelashes. That was a trick he had learned with Bazine after countless nights out at dance clubs that always ended with her passing out. He methodically worked the washcloth over her skin, careful not to press too hard as he removed the evidence of the evening’s drama. For her part, Rey did not stir under his attentions. Gwen helped him roll her onto her side and tuck her excess pillows against her back so that she would not roll over. Her trashcan was moved to her bedside and a glass of water was placed next to her lamp on the nightstand. Gwen grabbed Rey’s phone out of her back pocket, plugged it in, and shoved it under her pillow. 

 

With Rey tucked in, there was only one thing left to do. He grabbed a clean sheet of paper from the wireless printer perched on her desk and made his way to the kitchen. With the same focus he applied to his tattooing, he drew up an IOU in blackletter script. 

 

After the three of them signed the document, Hux was the first one to speak, “Am I the only one without a crush on Rey?"

 

Ben felt his cheeks heat up but he said nothing. He knew Hux meant it rhetorically, by he wasn’t ready to broach the subject, especially not with Rey within earshot. He made to follow his friends outside, but paused with his hand on the door knob. With one last look over his shoulder, he stepped left her apartment and quietly shut the door behind him. 

 

  
@@@@@@@

 

  
The next day Rey woke up with a pounding behind her eyes and a sour taste in her mouth. She was perplexed at first to find herself in her own bed, fully dressed from the night before and crowded to the edge by a barrier of pillows at her back. Her phone was plugged in and tucked under her pillow. She cautiously called out into her apartment, “Hello?”

 

She strained her ears to listen for a visitor but she heard nothing. She pocketed her phone and wandered into the kitchen, totally missing the glass of water that had been waiting on her nightstand. On her way to the sink, the sight of an intricately decorated document on her kitchen table caught her attention. In fancy lettering, it read “IOU 50 fifty sushi rolls of your choosing to be paid out over one year. Signed _Benjamin Solo_ and witnessed by _Gwen Phasma_ and _Armitage Hux.”_ The document was hand-drawn in perfect calligraphy  and decorative flourishes with what appeared to be a Sharpie. Under Ben’s signature was a phone number. She vaguely remembered seeing the three of them last night, and then yelling at one of them outside, and her bloody nose—fuck, her nose! She used her reverse camera to inspect her face. There was hardly a trace of blood but she could see the beginnings of a bruise. 

 

Rey couldn’t quite piece together why there was an IOU in her apartment from Ben Solo. Clearly he had been here with Gwen and Armie. Might as well cut to the chase and fill in the details she blacked out for. Rey snapped a photo of the IOU and texted it to the number Ben had left. 

 

**10:33am Rey:**  {image.jpg} wtf??

 

**10:34am Ben:** Good morning, sunshine. I’m impressed, I thought for sure you’d sleep past noon.

 

Rey rolled her eyes, here we go. He wasn’t going to make this easy on her. 

 

**10:34am Rey:** I don’t remember what happened...I yelled at you didn’t I?

  
**10:36am Ben:** Yes, very colorfully.

 

**10:36am Rey:** {Monkey covering eyes emoji x5} I am mortified, I am so so sorry for making you guys babysit me. Seriously {skull emoji} of embarrassment rn.

**10:37am Ben:** You text just like you yell, with great imagery and dramatic flair.

 

Ok, weird. Ben didn’t seem to be mad at her. She had expected a much frostier response. Was he really joking around with her or just being sarcastic? Ugh, she hated the lack of tone in texting. 

  
**10:39am Rey:** Ha ha, rub it in. Ok, sorry to bother you. Both yesterday and right now. All other past bothers were fully intentional and are not retracted.

  
**10:39am Ben:** That being said, I will honor our agreement.

 

Ok, there it was. The thing Rey has been dreading. Did Ben not see the embarrassment emojis?! She did _not_ need him thinking she was some street urchin who begged for meals. She cursed her drunk brain as memories started coming back to her. She remembered Ben crouching in front of her looking genuinely contrite and asking for a penance. She had blurted out the most extravagant thing her stupid drunk brain could think of in the moment. She needed to clear this up immediately. 

  
**10:40am Rey:** You’re joking right?? I never expected you to, jfc that’s not why I texted you. {Monkey covering eyes emoji}

  
**10:40am Ben:** No. I feel bad about making you miss the encore. I should have asked before I pulled you out and nullified your ticket. I really thought you were hurt, but that doesn’t excuse it.

  
Oh shit, she had mentioned the cost of the ticket. Blegh. He must’ve thought she was insane for screaming over $40. Then she remembered him waving the money in her face. Ugh, they were awful. 

 

Before she could invent a time machine, find an ancient incantation that wiped memories, or think of something to text back, Ben sent her three rapid-fire messages. 

 

**10:41am Ben:** Besides, I’d be going across the street for lunch anyway. Join me if you’re working, you know how I hate to miss a meal.

 

**10:41am Ben:** Sorry, that was in poor taste. I forgive you for Hulking out on me. I’m sorry for being an asshole towards you. I don’t know if you noticed this about me, but I’m not very good at making friends. Can we start with a clean slate?

 

**10:42am Ben:** Please. 

 

Rey sucked her teeth and considered her options. Ben was giving her an out. She swallowed her pride and fired off a text. 

  
**10:43am Rey:** Hmmmm ok, that was a good save. Let’s do it. My next day at PPP is tomorrow.

  
**10:43am Ben:** {hang loose emoji}

  
That was definitely meant sarcastically. Rey couldn’t help but laugh as she approached her freezer for a bag of frozen peas. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and fixed some tense errors in the previous chapters. I would love to know your thoughts!! As better fic writers have said, kudos are cool and comments are fuel!


	5. September 30-October 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben starts paying back the IOU, does a favor for Leia, and reveals what happened with Bazine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK what to do with Luke so he's just not...in this story. For right now. Also, I hope you guys like the past perfect tense because I couldn’t get away from it this chapter!

**September 30-October 14**

 

  
Rey felt like she was carrying more secrets than usual. Of course there was her web comic, which was increasingly becoming her outlet to tell the world about her new friend Ben. Her new gorgeous, muscular, completely platonic friend named Ben. The one she couldn't figure out how to talk to Finn about. Every day she saw Finn, he had a new complaint about Ben.  She didn't have to ask to know that Ben didn't care if Finn liked him, but it was important to her that they got along. She hadn't told either of them about breaking into his car, so the weight of that secret was felt double. With each passing day, she caught more glimpses of the sensitive and perceptive man underneath the frustrated growls and poker face. It made her guilt worse.  
  
Their first sushi lunch together had started incredibly awkwardly. It was hard for Rey to let herself be taken care of and make peace with the idea of him buying her lunch. Was he paying for her company? What did that make her? But she was awesome! Her company was worth at least a few $20 maki rolls. But was this really any way to start a friendship? She thought about how quiet he was. Maybe having a structure made it easier for him to put himself out there? He wasn’t putting his heart on the line, he was just honoring an agreement? She had to stop worrying about the pretense or she would drive herself crazy.

 

  
When they met on the sidewalk that first day, Rey had tried one last time to insist on paying her way, but Ben had stonewalled her. He had simply placed his hand on her upper arm and guided her into the restaurant. Rey had been shy about ordering anything more expensive than a plate of _sunomono_. His tactic had been to goad her. He had said things like, “Don’t you think you were letting me off easy? Do you remember how _mean_ I was? You were well within your rights to kick my ass for waving that money in your face.”  
  
Rey had rolled her eyes, "Under what statute?"  
  
It had been apparent that he enjoyed watching her sweat, "The same one that entitled you to a piggy back ride, I'd imagine."  
  
That remark had caught her by surprise and caused her to blush, “Oh right, _that_ one.”  
  
Ben had taken one quick glance at the menu and laid it flat. He had spent a moment quietly watching her study it before asking, “Why did you go by yourself?”  
  
Rey had shrugged, “Finn and Rose hate that kinda music,” she had frowned at her menu, then softly added, “and I hate dragging people to things.”  
  
Ben had started, “I’m glad I saw you there, I—“ but before he had been able to continue, the waitress had stepped up to their table to take their order.  
  
The rest of the lunch had passed amicably. Ben ate like a horse. After she had ordered her two rolls, he had ordered six more. When he saw her eyes go wide, he had insisted that she would help him finish. After he had polished off four and a half rolls, he muttered about how sushi tasted so good but didn’t fill him up. As they were leaving, Rey had said you know you can’t count the extra 1.5 rolls against my total, right? Ben had just smirked at her.  
  
Ben didn’t need to know that she was keeping a running list of the fifty rolls she enjoyed on his dime. Feeling inspired, she would sketch them as little cartoons in her notebook, each with her favorite Ben quotes of that day.  
  
The second time they had sushi, he simply texted her the nigiri emoji with a question mark. Texting with Ben was odd—he would always use proper grammar and never abbreviate. He only used emojis sarcastically, at least she thought. When she asked him about it, he had spent the rest of the day only texting her in emojis. It did not have the desired effect of annoying her.

 

  
  
It was the day of their third scheduled sushi lunch, and she was comfortable enough to just text him at 11:30.  
  
**Rey:** i’m hungry, hurry up  
**Ben** : Sorry to keep you waiting, just putting a permanent drawing on some dickhead’s back. Let me rush this so you can eat.  
**Rey:** if it’s on his back he won’t be able to tell if you phoned it in  
**Ben:** {thumbs up emoji}  
  
When they finally sat down for lunch, they fell into their newly established routine. They always started with neutral topics; books, music, or what show they’d been watching on Netflix recently.  
  
“What about The Shins?”  
  
Rey took a sip of her water before replying, “I saw them in 2008 or 2009. Haven't loved their last three albums."  
  
Ben watched as she stuffed the fat heel of the shrimp tempura roll in her mouth, “Oh so a New Year’s Eve show."  
  
Rey's eyes went wide with delight as she resisted the laugh that would make her choke on her food. She looked at Ben with disbelief, covered her mouth with one hand and mumbled, “You are so quick!”

 

  
After explaining that she knew his parents through work, she gathered the nerve to ask about them, "So how did your parents meet? They seem so different."  
  
Ben frowned and took on the flat tone he had been using less and less with her, "They met in college. They dated and within two years she was pregnant with me. Leia had to give up her dreams of being a politician due to Han and the stuff he was involved in. They married and she had me while she was still finishing college. In the end, she used her connections from her adoptive father, Senator Organa, to become an event planner for the D.C. Elite."  
  
"What about your grandparents?"  
  
"Han's parents were day laborers and died before I was born. Leia's biological mom was the first female senator, but she had an illicit affair with Anakin and got pregnant. By the time they met, Anakin was heavily involved in crime. If she had lived, it would've ruined her career. She died in child birth. Anakin went crazy after she died and Leia went to her god parents. And that's the story of my fucked up family."  
  
Rey hummed thoughtfully before flippantly responding, "Now it makes sense why you've got so many issues."  
  
He just chuckled and tucked into his food.  
  
Ben was different around her now, looser. Rey felt like she had discovered a secret treasure no one else knew about; his dry wit and his serious demeanor when he was being sincere. How his face lit up when they discussed books and how it darkened when she asked about his family. How he always waited for her to start eating first and held the door for her. How he would sample her food and complain to the kitchen when it wasn’t perfect. When he would quiet her protests by saying _No. I’m not paying my debt with subpar food._ She felt like the center of the galaxy in those little moments and it _did_ things to her. It was hard to let herself be cared for but Ben lowered her defenses brick by brick. She had started inviting him to parties thrown by her friends, though it wasn't until the third invitation that he accepted.

 

  
After finishing their lunch, they left the restaurant to return to work. Ben walked with her back to Poe's and opened the door for her. They were laughing and smiling, and when he pulled the door back, she saw Leia and Poe going over boxes. Ben immediately went stiff and silent. The silence that permeated the shop made Rey feel like she’d been caught doing something wrong.  
  
Leia spoke first, “Ben! Just who I wanted to see. Hello, Rey.”  
  
Rey waved and stepped aside to let Ben enter the foyer and shut the door. Ben turned his head away from Leia and murmured in a low voice only Rey could hear, "I'm about to be volun _told_ to do something, watch."  
  
Leia smiled and clasped her hands together, "Benjamin, the family business needs your help. Two of my staff members are out sick. I need two reliable people to help set up tables with these lovely menus and place cards," she placed a hand lightly on one of the boxes in front of her, "for the Governor's fundraiser at the Four Seasons. A sharp attention to detail is paramount. The rest of the staff are stretched thin. You're my only hope."  
  
Poe chimed in next, "Rey, take the afternoon and go help her. I can finish up prep for tomorrow's new pressing."  
  
Rey watched Ben intently as he mulled over the request. His jaw was tight and the annoyance in his eyes was obvious. She greatly admired Leia and knew that he had the rest of the afternoon free. What would be the harming in helping his mom? _Voluntold_ , indeed, "Leia, we'd love to help. Is it just these boxes?"  
  
He wiped a hand down his face before groaning out, "Fine, I'll drive."  
  
Poe nodded and laughed as he turned to go into the workroom, "Good, because Rey's not taking my car. I don't need another speed camera ticket. _Sixty_ in a thirty five!"  
  
Rey shouted after him, "I paid you back! You know those cameras are rigged!"  
  
Rey frowned as she remembered what she was wearing--ripped jeans covered in grease and a faded Quantum Leap shirt. She'd chosen it because she knew she'd be spending more time with Ben today. Was the language of T-shirts a thing, like language of flowers? Rey thought so, because she always brought out her best on days she knew she’d see Ben, and he often commented on them. _Maybe_ she paid more attention to getting her winged eyeliner even those days too, "Oh...we’re going to the Four Seasons?" She gestured towards her outfit and asked, "Is this OK?"  
  
Ben replied in a flat tone, mock-annoyed at her non sequitur, “After season 3 they started running out of ideas, but yea, overall it was OK. Can we get going now?”  
  
Ben folded his arms across his chest and gave Rey a blank look before shining his eyes at her. She snorted and clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle the undignified noise. Ben gave her a toothy grin and she felt her cheeks pinken. It was her personal goal to get a full-on grin out of him once a day. The second time they had lunch, she had made him laugh so freely her heart did backflips at the sound. Snapping out of it, Rey caught Leia glancing between the two of them. She narrowed her eyes at her son but answered Rey’s intended question, “No need to dress up, dear. The campaign’s staff will be dressed down as they appoint the ballroom. Just tell them you’re from Organa Events and they will get you started. If this one gives you any trouble, let me know.” Leia eyed her son suspiciously before continuing, "Rey, dear, will you fetch an old woman a bottle of water from Poe’s fridge?"  
  
Rey knew she had witnessed an exchange between the two but she didn’t know what it was about. Ben seemed to pale at the realization that he was going to be left alone with his mother. Not willing to debate with the elder woman, Rey turned heel and made her way to Poe's office. After she went through the door into the work room, she found Poe idly spinning on a stool as he tapped out a text. He lifted his eyes to greet her when the muffled sound of Leia's voice floated through the door. Poe raised a finger to his lips and gestured to Rey to follow him to the door. He inclined his head towards the family reunion happening in his lobby and together they eavesdropped.  
  
"You and Miss Niima seem to be getting along quite well. I didn't realize that you knew each other. She's a really special young lady."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Have you spent much time together?"  
  
Ben just sighed. Loudly. Rey felt her stomach twist into knots.  
  
"Have you lost your temper around her yet?"  
  
Ben tapped his foot impatiently, "Here we go! Yes. Jesus _fucking_ Christ how long does it take to grab a bottle of water..."  
  
Rey's eyes snapped to Poe's in fear. She did not want to be caught eavesdropping while Ben spoke about her. Poe placed an open palm on her shoulder to placate her but otherwise he continued listening intently.  
  
"Well, what happened? How did Rey react?"  
  
Ben mumbled so quietly she almost couldn't make it out, "She yelled at me and then made me give her a piggy back ride home."  
  
Leia's laugh filled the air, "That's my girl. I think you two will make a great team."  
  
Poe's eyebrows shot up as he mouthed “ _Piggy back ride?_ ”  
  
Rey waved him off and mouthed, “Later, shh!” before leaving her post to grab Leia's water, which she was sure by now was simply a ruse to get her son alone for a grilling.

 

  
After they loaded up his car with boxes, Ben gave his mom the most awkward hug Rey had ever witnessed. He looked like he was trying to hug a landmine without placing too much pressure on the casing. He bent down to kiss her cheek and said farewell. Once they were on the road, she noticed how his left leg bounced restlessly, "Why are you so jittery?"  
  
Ben cleared his throat and kept his eyes forward, "I quit smoking cold turkey but I could really use a cigarette right now," He turned his head so he could meet her eyes, "Don't let me buy any while we're out."  
  
She couldn’t possibly believe she had anything to do with it but the thought warmed her nonetheless. She had been vocal about the smell the few times he'd lit up in front of her, "Uh yea, of course. I'll just toss your wallet into the harbor preemptively."  
  
Another smile, "Glad I have you looking out for me."

 

  
They made their way to the hotel and set to work appointing the dozens of tables with the goods they had brought from Poe's.  They passed the time as they worked together with the Question Game.  
  
Ben started, "Tell me about your favorite animal and why."  
  
Rey thought for a moment before answering, "I like any animal with a thick tail base. Like a snow leopard or a kangaroo."  
  
Ben laughed loudly in disbelief and squinched his eyes shut, turning his head slightly in her direction, “ _What?!_ That is the weirdest fuckin' answer I’ve ever heard to that question.”  
  
Rey spared him a glance before turning back to her work, “How is that weird?! I like the aesthetic of an animal with a powerful tail. Red panda, gila monster, cheetah, alligator—What do they all have in common?!”  
  
Ben deadpanned, “I need more data. I haven’t found the common thread yet.”  
  
Rey sighed but rose to his challenge, “Porcupine, lemur, beaver, anteater, sloth, euromastyx, skink, gecko—“  
  
“—you can’t just name every kind of lizard—“  
  
“Platapus, monkey—“  
  
“Now you’re being too vague.”  
  
Rey threw up her hands in mock frustration, "You condemn me because you don’t understand me."  
  
Ben huffed, "Uh huh. How long have you been waiting for an opportunity to make that joke?"  
  
Rey just smiled and shrugged. Nothing escaped Ben's shrewd observation.  
  
"How did you get into cars?"  
  
"Isn't it my turn?"  
  
Ben just smiled and shrugged. He really enjoyed taking the piss out of her at every opportunity.  
  
"Well, as you know I was in the foster system. My parents died when I was six and I bounced around until I ended up with my final foster home--Unkar Plott's junkyard on the outskirts of Albuquerque. He was not an honest or kind man. I learned how to fix and take apart cars while I lived there as a means of survival. I don't mind talking about it but some people treat my stories like snuff porn, they get off on the misery. Other people get really sad, and then expect me to comfort them!" Rey looked up from the stack of cards in her hand to find Ben staring at her intently, "I don’t mind sharing if we get one thing straight—they’re my stories. Mine. They happened to me, so don’t need me to comfort you after you hear them."  
  
Rey looked around and noticed all of the people milling about as the room was transformed for the fundraiser. She did not want to get into the gory details in such a public place, so she knew she needed to change the subject, "This is weird but I think I've met your dad? Before I knew Leia at work and heard about him through her and Poe. When I first moved to Baltimore, I went to the shop on Keswick and 33rd to beg use of their air compressor so I could rehab the printing press I ended up selling to Poe." Rey saw the look of recognition in his eyes before continuing, "There were two older guys there, one with grey hair and one really tall hairy guy, Chewie. They were nice to me after they saw what I could do with a die grinder and an orbital sander. Offered me a job on the spot. Sometimes I moonlight for Chewie when he gets busy, but I haven't seen Han at the shop in at least a year."  
  
Ben bit his lip and nodded his head, "Yea, Han's mobility has decreased a lot. That's partly why I moved back here. It feels like the last call for making peace with him so he doesn't haunt me forever. I'm glad you got to meet him back then--mom says he's a cranky old coot now. I'll be honest, I haven't been to see him yet. I'm kinda surprised she didn't say anything about it today."  
  
Rey rounded the table and reached out to place her hand on his forearm, "Take it from someone who never got that chance, you'll be glad that you got to say your piece when he's gone." She noticed Ben's expression harden and thought best to drop it for now, "So...how about we knock out these last few tables and head back to Poe's? He probably spent all this time on Instagram Live extolling the virtues of rubber-based ink."

 

  
After they had returned to Poe's, Rey confirmed that she was free to go. In the back lot, Ben lingered by her side before asking, "So what're you gonna do now?"  
  
Rey picked up her backpack and slid her arms through the straps, "I'm gonna head home, I'll catch you later."  
  
Ben frowned and moved to stand between her and the exit to the sidewalk to stall her, "You're gonna walk home? Do you carry mace? Do you wear earbuds while you walk?"  
  
Rey rolled her eyes, "Are you trying to mansplain to me how to walk in a city?"  
  
Ben wouldn't be taken off track, "Don't you have a bike?"  
  
"Yea, I had two, but they both were stolen. So now I walk and ride the bus."  
  
Ben looked like he was scrambling for something to say, "You're so small."  
  
Rey threw up her hands and laughed, "Fuck you, I'm not small."  
  
He put his hand next to hers to illustrate his point, "You're small. You're a hellion but you're small. You're like a Pomeranian. Anyone could just snatch you up."  
  
"Fuck you, if anyone's a Pomeranian it's you," she gestured to his fluffy hair, "I'm more like a French bulldog--"  
  
"Why, because you snore and have a big head?"  
  
She scoffed and smacked his arm, "Now I'm really not going with you... _Oh_ _my_ _god_ , fine, but only because you look like a kicked puppy."

 

  
@@@@@@@

  
  
For a week following their day at the Four Seasons, he would would bring her coffee if she was working the morning shift. The first time, he had handed her a cup of fancy roasted black coffee. She had immediately taken a sip that caused her face to pucker. He had realized she must've assumed he hadn't brought fixings, but curiosity had compelled him to see what she would do. He had been surprised when in the next moment, she had steeled herself and downed the rest in three big gulps. She had pitched the cup and thanked him like nothing was amiss. He hadn't been able to hide his reaction as he mumbled about the cream and sugar packets in his pocket. Rey's eyes had widened in shock. She whined in disappointment and face palmed. He was sure that was one of the most endearing things he'd ever seen a girl do. She was so fearless, she drank the entire cup of, what must've been to her taste buds disgusting, coffee just to show her gratitude for the gift? He had the fleeting thought that she would be an amazing travel partner--she wouldn't be the type to push away a host's offering because it appeared unappetizing.  
  
After that incident, he got her preference, though he was still trying to ween her off of the caramel and cream. She had warned him that whatever he didn't put in hers, he would have to add to his own. He knew he was making excuses to see her. He also knew that any effort to not let her get under his skin was doomed from the start. He and Rey bonded over their mutual love of things and their outlooks on life and he couldn’t _handle_ it. His anxiety about the whole situation was starting to get to him. He realized how much free time he had on the nights Rey was busy or hadn't invited him to yet another house party. He turned to what had always helped him manage stress; he doubled his workouts and took up kettle bells.  
  
Before he met Rey, Ben never texted people just because he was thinking about them or because he saw a fluffy dog he knew they’d like. One morning, he had sent her a photo of paw prints on his frosted car window. She had responded immediately, saying _I_ _love_ _seeing_ _paw_ _prints_ _where_ _they_ _don’t_ _belong!!!_ He started texting her his tattoo sketches, or random thoughts he had throughout the day. She hadn't invited him over yet, and he hadn't found the right words to invite her over to his place. For now, he would let her lead until he felt more sure of where things were going.  
  
That's how Ben found himself in yet another cramped townhouse, holding a lukewarm beer like a prop. Rey had developed a system of checking in with him via eye contact at parties. She always concerned herself with his comfort in these social settings, and he tried his best to return the favor. It was almost as if they had developed a form of telepathy; if one of them frowned, they would step away discreetly for a chat. Usually it was Ben saying he wanted to go home or Rey asking him a burning question that she needed his input on. He was suspicious that she did this for his benefit, but he liked that she made an effort to engage him.  
  
At any moment she could pull him outside for a thirty minute discussion on why they don’t just fly the eagles to Mordor in _Lord_ _of_ _the_ _Rings_. She would argue his point about the eagles being too busy ( _what’s_ _more_ _important_ _than_ _stopping_ _Sauron?!_ ). Rey eventually would stop arguing and just say _Yea, you’re right. You can’t overthink everything or it wringes the joy out of it_. He’d explain _well, they talk about it in the Samirillian_. He’d spend ten minutes explaining the extended lore, come up for air and Rey would be _beaming_ at him. It made him feel light headed. Neither of them drank much, and they always sobered up by the end of the evening. He didn't want a repeat of that night outside of Ottobar.  
  
He was too embarrassed to thank Rey for how protective she was over him when it came to her friends; rude or snarky comments were quickly called out and apologized for. It helped him relax enough to try to have fun for her sake. It also helped to see how guys stopped approaching her after they noticed her glued to his side. She didn't seem to mind how easily Ben placed a hand on her lower back to guide her, or how he would drag her behind him by the hand when they need to slip through a crowded room. If Ben had to be at a party, his favorite spot was just on the periphery with Rey.  
  
At one point in the evening, _Despacito_  came on and Cassian found her on the dance floor. Ben watched from the kitchen as he started to sing to her. Over his head, she gave Ben the “help me” high sign and he swooped in before Cassian could hit the chorus, “Sorry Cassian, I need to borrow Rey.”

He wasn’t sure what possessed him to scoop her up and throw her over his shoulder, but by time he had run them both outside they were dying of laughter.

Rey panted out a laugh as she steadied herself against the deck and caught her breath, “Do you think that move gets him laid? Like was _Despacito_ a major game changer for him?”

Fall in Baltimore meant every party had a bonfire. This one was no exception. He loved having a legitimate excuse to escape the crowds and enjoy the night air now that he wasn't smoking anymore. He chose to wear a sweater so he could give Rey his jacket, as she never dressed weather appropriate but always complained about being cold. Her excuse was that she needed freedom of movement at all times.

Before she could ask, he held out his balled up jacket to her, “Tell me again, how is wearing my jacket better?”

Rey was walking towards the fire and turning the garment over in her hands trying to find the arm holes, “Because I only have to wear it when I need it.”

Ben stuck his hands in his pockets and followed, “I see. So _that’s_ why you keep inviting me to these parties?”

Rey balked. He knew she was a little buzzed and that meant she became super sincere and loving towards everyone. His heart sped up with anticipation of her benediction, “Benjamin, I invite you because I want to spend time with you. I don’t want to fly _solo_ , I want to fly _with Solo_. Get it?!”

She cracked herself up—her love of terrible puns and wordplay was one of the first things that he had noticed about her. She took every opportunity to work his name into a pun, and never failed to dissolve into a fit of laughter at her comedic genius. He found it endearing but he hammed up his grumpy reaction for her amusement. While her head was thrown back in laughter, he admired her hair. She had it sectioned into three french braids; one on the crown and one on each side. Ben recognized this hairstyle as the one that lead her to having soft waves the following day. He felt warm from the fire and her laugh and he couldn't help himself, "I like your hair like that, it looks cool. Does it take long?"  
  
She looked up at him with shining eyes and giggled, "Thank you. No, it doesn't... _ohmygod_ can I braid your hair?!"  
  
"Uhhhh...."  
  
"Please please please I'll take it out when I'm done!”  
  
He was weak and disarmed and he couldn’t even pretend to say no to the idea of Rey’s hands in his hair. At the same time, he felt self conscious about her seeing his ears so he settled on a compromise, "You can do the top only section only. Don't touch the sides."  
  
"Ok deal. Sit on the ground in front of me and face the fire."  
  
Ben did as he was told and held his breath until she touched him. He leaned back into her and gave in completely to the moment.  
  
"So tell me about Bazine. All I know is that she's an evil witch. Surely there's more to her than her alignment and her religion."  
  
Ben parted his lips and it all spilled out, "I was hitting a slump. Snoke could see he was working me to the bone. I had back to back appointments. I worked six days a week. At my lowest, he took me aside and said _a_ _man_ _should_ _not_ _neglect_ _his_ _basic_ _needs_.” To Rey’s credit, she did not flinch, “I never dated—I didn’t have time and I hated who I was. I didn’t want to get some girl involved in my mess. That same month, I was at Snoke’s house and he said _There’s_ _someone_ _I’d_ _like_ _you_ _to_ _meet_ and introduced me to Bazine. She was pretty— tallish brunette but what caught my eye is that she wore a replica gold ring from Fellowship of the Ring,” he paused to mutter lamely, “I thought that was _so_ _cool_. We chatted and it seemed like we had so much in common. She knew exactly how to stroke my ego, it was uncanny. She asked me to dinner and shortly after we became exclusive. Or so I thought. We only saw each other once a week due to my work. It was nice at first, having something to look forward to. She didn’t seem to mind my schedule. Probably because I was just another appointment for her. After a while the cracks in her facade started to show. I would get these glimpses of a totally different person. I remember one time for my birthday, I asked her to spend the night and marathon the LOTR trilogy with me, thinking that she’d go for it since she was a fan or my girlfriend or a good sport for my birthday at the very least. She barely looked up from her phone to roll her eyes and say, _Ugh_ , _those_ _movies_ _are_ _so_ _boring_. I think she realized her mistake because she back-pedaled to say something about preferring the books. So,” he paused and bit his lip before continuing, “When Snoke died in a car accident, she broke up with me immediately. I begged her for a reason, like an idiot. I knew things had been rocky between us, we’d been fighting more than usual. She revealed the whole thing; Snoke had been paying her to keep my spirits up so I wouldn’t quit. When she wasn’t with me, she was working her gig as an Instagram model and fucking rich guys for money. It was a small mercy that she always insisted on using a condom. She said if she had known what I was gonna be like, she would’ve asked Snoke for double.  In that moment it made perfect sense, of course this woman wouldn’t actually choose to be with me. My whole life under Snoke was a lie, so why wouldn’t that be too? It fucked me up for a long, long time after that. How could I ever trust anyone again?  And you know what, I’ve never hated myself as much as I did in that moment, because I knew I deserved it. I packed up my car the next day and left California with my tail between my legs. Pathetic, right?”  
  
Rey couldn’t hide her sniffle or the way she raised her arm to wipe her cheek on her shoulder. Her fingers had long stilled in his hair, completely captivated by his story. She lifted her hands and shuffled out of her chair to sit Bambi style next to him on the ground. She laid her hand on his forearm. She wiped at her eye and shook her head, “No, not pathetic. Ben, I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve to be manipulated like that.”  
  
Ben shook his head and laughed bitterly, “No, I absolutely did.” His slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. Her tears were flowing freely, and she grabbed his hand before he continued, “Snoke was my mentor in the photo-realistic portrait style that he and my grandfather popularized.  In their youth, they tattooed the mob in Vegas and created art on flesh like no one had ever seen.  Snoke helped me follow in their footsteps, and soon like him I was tattooing the faces of victims that the client had killed on their own bodies. Or doing gang tattoos for reluctant members. Or tattooing another man’s name on his wife’s ass. Shell shocked young men still wet with blood would come in and get tear drops on their faces. He had me do weird psychological shit to get revenge on debtors. Everyone signed a waiver, so I was protected at least. I was completely in my element, my craft got stronger every day, but all it did was hurt people. And I loved every opportunity I got to challenge myself and push my limits. I didn’t do it for the money, or the fame. I did it because I wanted to be the best. I didn’t care who I maimed.”  
  
“But, you left that all behind, you realized it was wrong.”  
  
Ben replied in a hard, tight voice, “Does acknowledging it mean anything? If your parents apologized to you, would it really matter at this point?”  
  
Rey paused, considering his question. She slowly rubbed a circle on his palm, “Yes, it would because it would validate what I went through. When I realized they were never coming back, I’d never felt so alone.”  
  
He held her gaze and felt a tear run down his cheek, “You’re not alone.”  
  
She squeezed his hand and replied in a quiet, clear voice, “Neither are you.”  
  
He looked in her eyes and he saw no contempt, just acceptance. Drunk assholes whooped and hollered inside of the house. He cursed their lack of privacy. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to lean down and capture her lips in a kiss.  
  
Breaking the tension in the air, he pulled his hand from hers to run it through his hair. He said, "I told you about Bazine, now you tell me about your exes."  
  
Rey let out a whoosh of air, “I had my first boyfriend in high school. His name was Hap. He was a quiet nerdy guy. Tall and skinny with really long hair. He was nice.” Rey shrugged, “No passion though. I think he liked me a lot more than I liked him. I really needed a friend and I knew he genuinely loved me. It sounds cruel but he was almost too nice? He didn’t know what it was like to mistrust your care takers or feel alone in the world. There were things about me he couldn’t understand so I never really felt seen. His family was really nice to me. They would all get along so well and all I could think is, is this real? What are they hiding? It made me feel like I was a different species than them. But after awhile I realized I was just playing pretend at being the same as them. And it wasn’t helping me heal. I wanted to drink up their love like the waters of Lethe. I thought that inserting myself in the middle of their family would cure me like an antidote but it didn’t.”  
  
Their hands had found each other again, and Ben thought for a moment before speaking, “Did you ever find the antidote?”  
  
“Yea, I did, except, it’s more like a pill you have to take three times a day until you die. It’s just acknowledging what you went through and recognizing the pitfalls you face, and then trying to rewrite your instincts. But yea...after I moved here, I met Sidon at a party my neighbor threw. He had these really cool hand and finger tattoos.”

Ben snorted and gave her a judging look. Finger tattoos were the calling card of a hipster douche bag--he refused to do them. 

She grimaced, "And he had this really cool undercut, back before everyone started getting it.”

He snorted again and his lips part slightly as he listened. 

She rushed out this part out, clearly she had saved the best detail for last, “And he was wearing a really cool red leather jacket. Cut me some slack, I was 18!”

Ben chortled with glee; from Rey's retelling he knew that she knew that he was going to tease her forever over this.

“Aaand we went back to his place, he made me cum from oral for the first time ever.”

That wiped the smirk off of Ben’s face. He really did not want to envy this guy. 

“And then we dated for 4 months. He wasn’t very emotionally intelligent but we were way more compatible in bed than Hap and so I wanted to explore that. He was an asshole to me when I broke up with him. He was one of those _Oh_ _I’m_ _not_ _invited?_ _I_ _didn’t_ _want_ _to_ _go_ _anyway_  type of people. He called me a desert rat and a trash picker. I would’ve preferred cunt. After him, I dated here and there but spent most of my time working and trying to save money.”

Ben hummed in response, "Good riddance to all of them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adam Driver is the master of squinching his eyes and asking "What?!" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxsQWLa9TzA  
> What did you guys think of this chapter? I didn't feel as inspired as I did when writing Ch4. I prefer writing big set pieces over a bunch of small "move the plot along" interactions. Kudos and comments are encouraging :)


	6. October 16-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey visits Ben’s house for the first time and he does her a favor.

Oct 16-17  
  
  
Rey stood in his foyer clutching a small jade plant and looked up at him expectantly. Shit--she was probably waiting for him to say something. How long has he been standing here lost in his own thoughts? She was the first person he’d invited over since he moved in, and he hadn’t brought a girl home since he broke up with his ex.

But this wasn’t—Rey wouldn’t—it was 2pm on a Monday, nothing like that was going to happen. Ben cursed himself for even going there. He saw the guys that approached Rey at parties; he knew she could do a lot better than him. Rey insisted on introducing him to every would-be suitor she knew through the Farmer’s Market or the local music scene, probably in the hopes he would find more friends and give her a breather. It wasn’t fair to assume that of her but it fit the story he told himself. He did his best to not be rude (only for her sake), but that didn’t stop him from trying to squeeze the marrow from their bones as he shook their hands.

  
If he was being honest with himself, fantasies and daydreams aside, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be in a relationship. He’d gotten so used to living his life selfishly and only obeying his own whims. What if an opportunity arose for him to work in Europe? Or Japan? He had built himself a life well-suited to bachelorhood; the problem being that he wasn’t sure if he wanted it any longer. Perhaps that’s why he was so hyped up to have her over—some part of his caveman brain wanted to show off his den. _See_ _how_ _I can provide for you? My inner life might be a mess but at least I’ve got shelter and an 80 inch TV._  
  
When he’d invited her over to hang out, he’d assumed they’d settle on the couch to watch movies and order a pizza. He’d forgotten the ritual of giving a new guest a tour, though not for lack of experience giving them to his parents' friends as a child.  He took the plant from her and cradled it gently to his chest with his palm supporting the bottom of the pot and quirked his lip at her. “Thank you, I look forward to the challenge of keeping this alive. I suppose you’d like a tour?”  
  
Rey grinned eagerly as she clasped her hands in front of her. “Yes please! I had no idea you lived in such a beautiful house!! This place is amazing!”  
  
He shrugged and tried to suppress his smile at her excitement, “It’s alright I guess. Sometimes I think it might be haunted.”  
  
With wide eyes and a conspiratorial tone, she whispered, “Holy shit are you serious?! Tell me everything!!”  
  
Ben frowned. That was not the reaction he was expecting. “Nah. Sometimes I find spiders though. Let’s start the tour upstairs.”  
  
Rey had effusive compliments for every room he showed her. The choice of curtain color in the spare bedroom, the red paint in his office, the quality of the grout work in his bathroom; most of it was original to what his grandmother had chosen in the 60s. Mid-century modern wasn’t his favorite aesthetic but he didn’t have the heart to change it out for particle board and polyester. For all of the bold colors and mid-toned wood, everything was of the highest quality available at the time.  
  
He purposefully skipped his bedroom. The idea of bringing her there, platonically—it struck him as the worst form of torture. Still, Rey found her way into his bathroom through a shared door with his study. He hadn’t followed her past the study’s threshold, choosing instead to observe her explorations from his spot against the door jam.  
  
She called out from around the corner, her incredulous voice echoing slightly, “You use Drunk Elephant?! How do you even _know_ about this stuff?”  
  
His reply came loud enough for her to hear him in the next room, “A good skin care routine is the one positive thing to come from knowing Bazine. I’m not going to stop just because she’s evil. She doesn’t own sunscreen, damn it.” That last bit was more for him than Rey, “Let’s head downstairs, I’ll show you the rest of the house.”  
  
They made their way down to the kitchen and living room. His new chore/house warming gift found a home on the kitchen countertop. From a door off of the kitchen, he led her down to see his home gym in the basement. This room was a departure in decoration from the rest of the house. It had been empty, just a concrete floor and plain white walls, when he moved in. He took the opportunity to decorate it to his taste in Minimalist Japanese--light colored wood furniture and sparse Asian-influenced art on the walls. A full length mirror leaned against the opposite wall near his free weights and rowing machine. In the center of the room, a 100lb punching bag hung from the ceiling.  
  
Ben watched as Rey gravitated towards the bag and playfully jabbed at it. He could see her getting mad as the bag absorbed the force of each punch. “Were you the kid who punched holes in his bedroom walls?” Jab jab jab. “What the _fuck_ , it’s not even moving!”  
  
He pushed off of the wall and approached her. “Working out is like therapy for me. Boxing especially. I like feeling exhausted at the end of the day, helps me fall asleep.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle push. “Step aside.”  
  
He squared up to the bag and hit it so hard, it swung and its chain rattled. Rey’s eyes went wide and from her spot on the edge of the mat she muttered, “Fuck...”  
  
Surely he imagined the way her cheeks flushed as she watched him still the bag with an outstretched arm. With that, he'd reached his limit for being the center of attention for one day, even if it was only Rey's eyes on him. He cleared his throat and lead her back up to the main level and finished the tour.  
  
As her eyes swept across his living room, she tapped a finger to her lips in contemplation before speaking, “I just realized something about you.”  
  
Ben’s face fell. He was used to disparaging observations from his old mentor, and now surely Rey had seen through him and they were at the inevitable conclusion to their—“You like things that operate within a boundary and have established rules. You enjoy gaming the rules of a closed system. Even with tattooing in black and white. You want to figure out how to be the best within those restrictions. I feel like I just gained a fundamental understanding of who you are as a person. I’m gonna seek the pattern now. OH MY GOD is that why you like fussy Japanese stuff?! And boxing?! And video games?”  
  
A puff of air left his lips before Ben shook his head in disbelief. “Uhh yea, yea I think you’re on to something. That’s the most insightful non-insulting thing someone has ever said to me. I’m kinda creeped out honestly. Have you been reading my diary?”  
  
Rey’s cheeks had to hurt from how hard she was smiling at him. Ben hadn’t ever taken the time to appreciate how perfect her teeth were; the thought made him wipe a hand down his mouth self consciously. “No, but don’t tempt me. In grade school, I would sneak into the rooms of my foster-siblings and pilfer their diaries for my reading pleasure.” Rey narrowed her eyes and leaned in for dramatic effect, “You were wise not to show me your bedroom.”  
  
Ah, she had noticed his omission. Was she going to expect an explanation? _Sorry, Rey, having the memory of you in my bedroom would be like pouring kerosene into the raging dumpster fire that is my libido. My dick has steadily been growing insatiable since I met you; it’s turned into Audrey II and now I’ve mixed metaphors like an incoherent idiot and it’s all your fault_.    
  
Rey was oblivious to his inner turmoil; she meandered slowly through his kitchen, complimenting the quality of this or that as she noticed it. Her survey mission halted in front of a pomegranate that rested on the kitchen island. “Ooh this is gorgeous, it's the perfect shade of red. I’ve never had pomegranate before, isn’t it a pain to eat?”  
  
Sensing his opportunity (apparently he was a shameless showoff now. No doubt the shame would come later), he sidled up to her and plucked the fruit from her hands, “It’s tart... almost a better version of cranberry. Share it with me?”  
  
Rey wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Nah, I probably won’t like it.”  
  
“C’mon, just try it.” _Please say yes so I can impress you with the technique I learned on YouTube_.  
  
Rey acquiesced and he leaned over the adjacent sink before cracking the hard shell open with his hands and offering her a piece. The sides of the pomegranate separated like jagged slices of oranges. “The red arils are the edible part, they contain a fibrous center you can eat or throw away. But that’s where a lot of the nutrition is.”  
  
Ben has chosen is words carefully, skipping over _seed_ and _white_ and _spit_ and _swallow_. It occurred to him that if Rey was secretly a mind reader, this would be the moment her cover was blown. She’d glare at him in disgust and stomp out of his house, maybe knock over her gift on the way out too. But...she wasn’t moving. Phew. 

Leaning over the sink together, they shared the fruit as Rey hummed her approval. When their arms brushed, neither moved to put room between them. Melancholy crept over him as his mind converted the sensory input from her warm skin and soft floral smell into fuel for a highlight reel of lonely-man-nearing-30 fantasies: walking side by side on a trail, cooking breakfast together, settling into the seats at a movie theater, waking up pressed against one another. Why couldn’t he just enjoy himself like a normal person? This was not the time for self flagellation— _just finish the damn fruit as fast as possible before the heat of her skin melts through your shell and she ignites the volatile fumes inside of you._  

 

After washing their hands and trashing the husk, they settled down on Ben’s couch. He both dreaded and hoped for her to touch his skin again. _Pathetic_.

  
"Want to watch something? I've got a bunch of blue-rays in the bookcase over there."  
  
Rey was scoping out the gaming systems that were tucked behind the glass of the entertainment system. She sounded surprised as she gestured towards his Nintendo Switch, “You didn’t strike me as a Nintendo guy.”  
  
Ben smirked, “You’d’ve known had you read my diary. I got it to play Zelda.”  
  
Rey whipped around to face him, “I love Zelda! One of my first foster homes had a Nintendo 64. I played the shit out of Ocarina of Time. I still remember all the songs!” Ben laughed softly as she sang to the tune of the Song of Storms. “A Down Up, A Down Up, da da da da da...”  
  
Crooked teeth be damned, Ben couldn’t suppress the grin as he said, “That was my favorite song too! The soundtrack was my first CD. Want to play the new one? I’ve got everything unlocked so you could tool around and explore.”  
  
Rey frowned and shook her head. “I want you to play too. What can we play together?”

 

Rey was _not_ helping. She had no idea, but she was still to blame. Did he really need to revisit all of those memories of isolation and loneliness to appreciate her gesture? Of course he didn’t. They were so deeply burned in his brain, they influenced every decision he made, including the one to let himself feel affection for the kind, beautiful girl sitting next to him. Could he be any more—losing his head because she made him feel included? And validated? And like maybe there was hope for him in this horrible, cold world after all? He felt like he was gripping the edge of a cliff with only three fingers, and should too strong of a breeze blow, he would surely lose his grip and plummet to his death.

 

He was _not_ going to tear up because a girl ( _the_ girl) wants to play video games with him. He couldn’t stomach the look of disgust that would surely cross her face from watching him blubber about how lonely he was inside his half-a-million dollar home. “Mario Party just came out.”

  
“Let’s do it! But we have to play co-op because I get way too competitive. I’m a beast at Mario Cart—have you ever played the arcade version? Ask Finn, I’ve made kids cry before.”  
  
Ben flipped through the menus and explained the options, “I believe it. First, who do you want to play as and who do you want to play against?”  
  
“Wario all the way. I like his outfit and his attitude.”  
  
Ben nodded, “Ah OK, since we’re choosing strategically, I’ll go with Waluigi since they're a pair.”  
  
Rey grabbed her controller. “I’m glad I didn’t have to strong-arm you into picking him. Naturally, we have to play against Mario and Luigi.”  
  
Ben snorted, “OK, nerd. Let’s do hard mode.”  
  
Rey’s eyes flicked down to where he was gripping the tiny red controller between his thumbs and forefingers, “Look at how tiny that Joy-Con looks in your hands! Sure you can hit the buttons?”  
  
“Oh don’t worry about me, I can pull my weight. Here we go, punch your dice to determine play order.”  
  
Ben couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun. His anxious thoughts were in the past. Rey was a natural team player; she communicated openly and took no offense at his suggestions for maximizing her turns. On her own, she had realized two turns in that the meta game was about keeping coins from the other team. Guys didn't swoon, but when he heard her say the words "meta game" he could've; maybe in another life he was a pre-war Southern belle.  
  
Thanks to her strategy, they won soundly.  After carefully reviewing their winning stats and engaging him in post-game commentary, she clutched her controller eagerly and smiled up at him from her spot on the couch, “Can we play again but on very hard mode?”  
  
He was foolish to think he’d be able to control how he felt about her, this beautiful woman who was in his house, laughing and smiling up at him with juice-stained lips and sharing the most fun afternoon Ben could remember. This was probably but a blip on her radar but he wasn’t going to let that dissuade him. He really really wanted to kiss her. That’s it. He’s gonna do it. This whole thing was ridiculous—he’s a grown man. His grandpa had two kids by his age, he could kiss one girl who he was falling madly in love with. She smelled amazing and her eyes softened as she awaited his answer. He was going to set his self-conscious paranoia aside for one Tuesday afternoon. He was going to set his controller down and—  
  
Suddenly her phone dinged. And again. And again three more times.  
  
He instantly broke eye contact, the moment having passed. Rey fumbled to retrieve the phone from her pocket while muttering apologies. He saw her tap on an app that was blowing up her phone with notifications. Rey swiped through to clear the alerts and silence her phone, “Rose talked me in to downloading Tinder. This app is crazy, it’s like Postmates for sex except instead of money you pay with your dignity.”  
  
As she was tapping through her phone, Ben saw a match pop up--some motherfucker who looked like Bradley Cooper.  
  
Rey frowned, “One night stands never appealed to me, though. The thought of going to some strangers house... I wouldn’t be comfortable. I've listened to too many true crime podcasts.”  
  
For the second time that day, Ben was suddenly aware of how still and silent he had gone. He had to say something to belie the jealousy that was blooming in his stomach. “When I first began hanging around Snoke’s crew, I would start drinking the second I got off of work. Once in a while I would wake up at a stranger’s bed with barely a memory of how I got there. I hate everything about who I was back then, even that part. But what do I know, I’ve been living like a monk since I left California.”  
  
Ben's eyes wouldn't move as alerts silently flooded her phone, which she was still holding face up in her palm. She looked down at her phone and laughed weakly before stuffing the device back in her pocket.  
  
Rey must have sensed the change in the room, because a moment later she was gently setting her Joy-Con on his coffee table. “Actually, I should go. I’m sure you’re busy so...I’m gonna go.”  
  
Ben cursed himself for making things weird. He wasn’t sure what to do next—acknowledge that he knew that she knew the mood in the room had changed or act like nothing was wrong? He was a horrible actor; he couldn’t pretend to not be bothered. She had read him like an open book.  
  
Bumbling out the words as he went, Ben stood and followed her to the door. “I, um, do you need a ride?”  
  
With a soft smile, Rey shook her head, “No, thank you. But tomorrow, are you still able to meet me at Second Chance with Chewie’s truck? I’d borrow it myself but you know how protective he is of it. I’m not his favorite nephew so he won’t lend it to me directly.”  
  
The prickliness left his voice. “Technically I'm his only nephew... Of course I am. Just text me 30 minutes before you need me there. I’ll bring some tarps.”  
  
Rey nodded and stepped off of his porch. “Thank you. This was fun. I’ll see you tomorrow!”  
  
  
@@@@@@@@@  
  
  
Rey did not get Ben Solo’s deal. One moment, he would look at her with a softness she never saw him direct toward anyone else, not even his mother. She would tee him up to kiss her, doing everything she could to telegraph _Kiss_ _Me_ _Now_ , _Idiot_ but he never did. She had half a mind to just google his ex—how many people could be named Bazine—and see for herself that she could never hope to be his type. She probably had huge tits and ass for days and lips like Angelina Jolie. That’s who she was picturing to torture herself—alluring, 25 year old Angelina. How could she compete with that? On the other hand, not looking for Bazine's photo was a way for her to preserve some hope. Ben didn’t know her all that well, they’d only been hanging out for a month, maybe maybe maybe. This wasn’t the only thing about Ben that frustrated her. He could be so stubborn and rude when he became fixated on an idea. He would pursue a notion with such tenacity—like a sushi roll served with browning avocado—that the person caught in his ire would end up in tears. It gave Rey pause....and a quiet thrill.   
  
Rey had her haul from Second Chance loaded up on a trolley as she followed Finn towards the exit. Rey had chosen several pieces for restoration; a huge metal chandelier, sconces, two stained glass windows, and a small roll top powder-coated desk. Finn eyed her bounty, "Dude, that's not gonna fit in my Subaru."  
  
She looked at Finn sheepishly and said, "I know...Ben offered to pick me up in Chewie's truck to take this stuff home."  
  
Frowning at the chandelier, Finn reproached her, "Woa, I could've rented a truck...No need to make a deal with the devil."  
  
"Really it's fine, I'm gonna work on them at Chewie's shop...Thank you for helping me pick these out, you're a great shopping buddy."

Rey smiled at her dear friend, hoping he would take the hint and change the subject. But Finn was not one to back away from controversy, and he had a tendency to get protective of his loved ones. "He's bad news! He used to work at a gangster tattoo shop. Look at how he treats his mom, that's always a sign." Finn's hands flew through the air as he gesticulated his displeasure, "He's a bad person all the way through to his core. What if he’s doing it to trick you?"

Rey rolled her eyes, "Then I would think him rather clever."

Finn huffed and crossed his arms to underline his disapproval. She had to smooth this over before Ben arrived--he was like a bloodhound when it came to emotions. He would spot Finn's disgust instantly, and Rey was tired of the division among her friends. "He's not my _boyfriend_. Why can’t he be an asshole? The world needs assholes. I kinda like that he is—he doesn’t let people walk all over him."

Before Finn could continue his dissertation on why Ben was such an asshole, she nudged his shoulder and pointed to the sign above their heads, "Hey, maybe you should give Ben a..."  
  
Finn growled, "Don't you dare make a pun right now."

Her eyes sparkled and she whispered, “ _Second chance!!_ "  
  
@@@@@@@@  
  
Hot water ran over his shoulders as Ben pressed a hand against the shower wall for support. Slowly stroking his cock, he closed his eyes and bowed his head. The need for release dominated his thoughts but he had places to be—this was no time to let his mind wander. He tapped into the primal feelings of jealousy and possessiveness that had been simmering in his gut since Rey left his house yesterday. His fantasies played on the back of his eyelids.

_He had been up late working for the fifth consecutive evening when he heard the light patter of feet entering his home office. Small hands rubbed across his shoulders and then slowly down his chest until his wife’s soft lips pressed against the shell of his ear._

_“You’ve been working so hard lately. Won’t you come to bed?”_

_Her lips trailed slowly down his neck and then up again to tug on his ear lobe. “Your wife needs you.”_

_Ben groaned, “I’m sorry, babe, I really need to get these mock ups done for my appointments tomorrow.”_

_He felt her pout against his hair as her hands snaked under his shirt and rubbed his chest slowly._

_“Honey, I know you’ve been busy but you promised we’d start trying for a baby. It can take months and I want to celebrate next Christmas with our family.”_

_She’d freed his cock from his pajama pants and pumped it slowly as she moved to stand between his legs in front of him. The faded grey robe slipped off of her shoulders to pool at her feet._

_He could only weakly protest, “We should do this properly, not here.”_

_Her grip tightened, “I don’t care, I need you right now.”_

_They hadn’t had sex all week because he had been so busy. He had watched his wife pout around all evening, with an inkling of what was wrong. She missed him._

_She slipped out of her nightgown and panties, and then leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Tell me to stop.”_

_Before he could speak, she sank down on top of him with a groan, relishing the stretch after a week of celibacy. She was tight and wet and warm and perfect. She immediately rode him fast and hard, with one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his shoulder. Her legs shuddered and she moaned as her first orgasm took her. As her pussy rhythmically milked him, she whined out, “I love you so much, Ben! Please cum inside me. Please!”_

_He felt like he had been awoken from a dream—how could he have gotten so distracted? In this moment with his wife it dawned on him that nothing mattered more than their connection. He was not going to live his life passively. He picked her up by the thighs and stood as he gently placed her back onto the desk. Her legs hooked over his shoulders as he pounded her into the desk. She shivered through another orgasm as he leaned over her and sucked dark bruises into her neck. “You want my cum?”_

_She held tightly to his sides as he peeled her legs off of him and forced them to split wide against the desk. “Yes! Yes, please give me your baby.”_

_Ben wrapped a hand around each of her thighs to old her legs open wide for him as he rolled her hips up to expose her pussy. He felt the tingle of his impending orgasm in his sack. His rhythm became erratic as he drove his cock into her and held the mating press position. His cock head bumped against her cervix and erupted with hot jets of virile cum. He was sheathed in her completely as he filled her womb with his seed with each throb of his cock._

 

"Fuuuuck..."

Ben worked himself through his orgasm as he watched his spend wash down the drain. All of the thoughts he had been pushing away came rushing back to him. _Rey didn’t owe him. She wasn’t his girlfriend. Did he even want a girlfriend? Was he just crushing on this insanely beautiful girl? Their age difference. His ridiculous lips and soft jaw line. He had confessed to her and she hadn’t flinched. How was that not a positive sign?_

 

A few hours later, Ben was in Chewie's borrowed truck and heading down town. Rey and Finn were waiting for him near the fire lane, arms and cart full of, to his eye, metal junk. He caught Rey’s eye and rolled down the window, “Hey, Peewee."  
  
Once he stepped out of the truck, he immediately sensed the tension between the two of them. He was reminded of stumbling upon his parents after a fight. Finn fixed him with an icy stare and muttered, “Have fun with Ed Kemper.” He turned to Rey and touched her arm, “If I don’t hear from you tonight I’m calling the police.”   
  
Rey looked gobsmacked, “Finn, that’s not funny. Ben’s my friend and I enjoy spending time with him. I‘m not going to apologize for hanging out with him.”

Ben’s heart soared. He understood what Finn meant to her. In his world, people protected one another due to their affiliations, not out of affection. No one would’ve stood up to Snoke for him if the situation had ever arisen. He knew he couldn’t hide the adoration on his face as he watched her stare down Finn. Really, an apology was the last thing on his mind.

All the better, then, because he wasn’t getting one. Finn just rolled his eyes, walked off towards his car, and waved goodbye to them over his head.   

She sighed in resignation as she looked up at Ben and said, "I'll take that ride home now.”

 

Once they were settled into the truck, Ben was the first to speak. “I want ice cream.” He doesn’t, but he can see that Rey’s upset and wants to do something nice. “Cool if I stop at Rita’s?”

Rey simply nodded and gave him a tight smile as she studied the beds of her fingernails.

  
  
Standing outside at the walk-up window, Rey studiously scanned the flavor menu, "Oh shit, they have watermelon? They never have that flavor! I'm gonna splurge for a large gelati."  
  
Ben gave the teenager behind the window his credit card and barked out their order, using his large form to block out the fist full of dollars trying to sneak its way between him and the window. "You're too late, I already paid. It's the least I can do after you defended my honor so valiantly."  
  
That earned a laugh, and Ben knew he was in the clear, "Look, I'll finish what you don't." 

It doesn’t dawn on him until later how intimate that sounded. He didn't end up helping her finish hers, like that was ever a necessity.   
  
Treats in hand, they leaned against the truck side by side and she said between bites, "I'm sorry that Finn spoke to you that way. He's a good person, he'll come to his senses and apologize."  
  
Ben smiled into his cup and quietly asked, "Did you mean what you said, that you like spending time with me?"  
  
Turning his head, he stared deeply into her eyes for a beat before she enunciated a single syllable, "Yes."

He silently pulled her in for a hug, tightening his grip as he felt her arms squeeze around his waist. Now that he had her in his arms, he didn’t want to let go. With a sigh, he let his arms fall and said, "I think you might be the only one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -With this chapter I tried to provide more characterization for Ben and explore where his mind’s at in his post-Snoke/Bazine life. I wanted to capture the anxiety he was left with in the wake of their betrayal and the mindfuck of Bazine's revelation.   
> -The IRL smut will be much...more. I don't want to burn the good stuff while I'm still moving the plot along.   
> -Guys with large hands holding tiny things is my fetish. Lady apples, Seckel pears, Nintendo Switch Joy Cons...yum. Lol
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? Feedback is very valuable so I appreciate all comments and kudos!!! What would you guys hope to see next?


	7. October 19-20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets sick and begrudgingly accepts a visit from Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly this was intended to be finished before Halloween...ah well, here it is! Enjoy the domestic fluff and UST. RST coming soon!

**Oct 19-20  
**

 

 

Ben hated Halloween. The stupid costumes and the teeth-rotting candy; the only good part was that new horror films were released. Everywhere he looked, his eyes were assaulted with goofy skeletons and grinning jack o’lanterns. The inside of Poe’s was no exception. Every corner had a fake spider web or an gnarled gourd. He found himself loitering in the pumpkin palace as he waited for Rey to bound out of the back room and join him for lunch. She hadn’t texted him yet today, so he had assumed she was busy with work. Some days she came out with grease-stained hands that she swore were triple-washed. He heard a chair creak and held his breath—he _reveled_ in the way Rey smiled at him when she first noticed his presence. That small gesture gave him a sense of belonging. Unconsciously, he straightened his posture and groomed his hair with his hand. The door swung open only to reveal Poe with an armful of sample books. Ben immediately felt himself sag. Up until this point, he had successfully avoided being left alone with Poe or his husband. He held no animosity towards them, but found them much more tolerable with Rey as a buffer.

Poe must’ve noticed Ben’s face fall because he gave him a knowing smirk. “Hey man, Rey’s not here today. She took a sick day.”

Ben frowned in worry—Rey did not strike him as the type of person to fake a sick day. She must be pretty bad off... He thought of her all alone and feverish, with not even a room mate to check on her. His lower lip took the brunt of his worry.

The wheels continued to turn in his head as Poe spoke again, “You don’t want to go over there, dude. Rey hates being fussed over. She’s like a grumpy gremlin when she’s sick. Finn already offered.” Poe sat the binders down on the counter with a thud. “How’s your mom and dad?”

Well-worn noncommittal answers were all Ben had time for. How long did he have to stand here? Poe probably talked to his mom more than he did.

Without looking up, and in the fake-casual tone he surely picked up from Leia, Poe asked, “So anyways....what’s up with you and Rey?”

Ben sighed and placed his hand on the door to leave.  “I’ll be completely candid with you. She doesn’t annoy me.”

Poe barked a hardy laugh and nonchalantly added, "See you later. Tell Rey I say hi."

 

Poe's warning was summarily ignored like every other one he'd ever been given, and so 90 minutes later he was standing in front of Rey's door with two brown shopping bags laden with food and bottled soda. Wanting to cover all bases, he had stopped by Atwater’s cafe and the grocery store. He sat the bags down and knocked on her front door. No sound escaped the apartment, so he knocked again. _Finally_ he heard the deadbolt turn and saw the door was crack with the safety chain still in place. Rey peaked out from behind the door with her blanket covering her mouth and nose like Nosferatu with his cape. Even behind the blanket, she looked awful and worn down. She noticed the bags at his feet and gave him a weird look before hissing, “You can’t be here.”

Ben cocked an eyebrow, peered in over her head, and listened-he immediately felt a pang of jealously at the thought that she had a guy in there with her. He deadpanned, “I promise there are no garlic bulbs or wooden stakes in this bag.”

That made her laugh and drop the blanket from her face, revealing her red and blotchy cheeks. Still, she hesitated to let him in. “My apt is covered in germs and you’ll get sick.”

“I got a flu shot.”

“I’m not nice when I’m sick and won't be a good hang. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

Ben leaned in and whispered, “So do I, so don't tell anyone about the food and I won't tell anyone if you're mean.”

Rey shut the door and undid the chain, then peeled it open for him and stepped aside. She crossed her arms over her body, “I’m not gonna be a good host. Lower your expectations _...lower...lower..._ there you go.”

He picked up the bags and crossed the threshold, taking in her outfit as he passed her-thick sweatpants with socks pulled over them and a sweater, “You look cozy. What’ve you been doing all day?”

“I don’t feel cozy, I feel like everything hurts and I’m gonna die. I called Poe, fell asleep, lost my phone for a couple hours, and then I got a shower and fell asleep to the Netflix selection screen.”

He frowned, “You didn’t eat all day?”

She scratched her head and mumbled, “No, I didn’t feel good. I just laid around. That’s just what I always do. Being sick makes me depressed.”

Determined to help her feel better, Ben crossed her tiny living room to her kitchen table and started unloading the bags. Rey followed behind, pulling two glasses from her drying rack before sitting down in front of a blue place mat covered in greasy rags, calipers, deconstructed widgets, and a desk lamp. She pushed the place mat and its contents aside with her forearm and and settled in.

Ben felt justified in his intrusion as he watched her dig in; chicken soup and a side of red beans and rice and a giant glass of 7 Up quickly disappeared. As he ate his pastrami on rye, Rey peered over her to go bowl and with no shame, demanded, "What do you have?"

_Greedy_ grumpy gremlin. Without a word, Ben handed her the sandwich. She took a big bite, closed her eyes, and moaned. He had to look away and tense the muscles in his thighs. “I guess you're not worried about getting me sick anymore.”

After Rey finished eating, she looked bashful and mumbled, "I might have been a bit hangry. Thank you for the food."

“Does the idea of my company seem less abhorrent now?”

In a mock deep voice that was hoarse from coughing, she declared, “Yes, mortal, your offering has pleased me. Welcome to my lair. Muahaha— _khoff khak khak!_ Shit, sorry. Oh, did you drive here?”

"Yea, I parked out front."

“Fuck, your car is gonna get broken into. Did you leave anything laying out in it?”

Ben chuckled and brought a hand to his chest in mock-offense. “Are you trying to mansplain to me how to park in the city?”

 

After lunch, Ben perused the bookshelves in her living room as she rinsed out their glasses in the sink. He smiled to himself as his eyes landed on the titles that he had in his own house, or recognized from growing up; _East of Eden_ and _Sabriel_ and _Clan of the Cave Bears_. Her books were organized by color, and interspersed with the novels he noticed self-help books for trauma. Maybe if they were better friends, he'd ask to borrow one. For now, his attention was turned on another personal but less sensitive tome--her sketchbook. There it was, basking in a sunbeam on her coffee table like a tabby cat he ached to reach out and pet like he was 8 years old again at his uncle Chewie's house. _Don't touch Rathtar, Ben, he bites. But he looks so soft, and he's asleep, and he won't even notice--_

"Touch that and they'll never find your body."

A small gasp escaped his lips as he froze, turning only his head to see Rey glaring at him from the kitchen. If he wanted to be an ass, he could grab the sketchbook and sprint to the door before she caught him. With his gait, it was under ten paces easy. In that moment, he knew he could take whatever he wanted, and just the knowing was a balm on the darkest, festering parts of his soul. But taking was too easy, and overdone, and lacking in satisfaction like eating a steady diet of boiled chicken to survive. He wanted someone--no, just her, just Rey--to see him as worthy of being given access to the deepest chambers of her heart. For all of his fucked up fantasies and morally grey desires, the linchpin of all of it was the idea of her sharing herself enthusiastically.

A small smile played on his lips as he approached her, "It’s porn, isn’t it? You know you can make a lot of money drawing commissions for furries..."

Rey facepalmed and groaned, “I knooow...I’m not that good though. I just doodle. No porn.”

"Then there's no reason to hide..."

“Absolutely not. I’ve said too much already. I’ve seen your stuff. No way you’re seeing my scribbles."

That was news...His work hadn’t come up much in conversation. Intrigued by this information, he changed the subject. “Do you have any tattoos?”

“No”

“Do you ever think about getting one?”

She shrugged, "Yea sometimes. Never seemed like a wise financial decision."

"Yea that’s fair, a good one is worth the money. I don’t want to paint with a broad brush but almost every tattoo artist in the world is a miserable incompetent thief. I’m super picky about who does mine. I just have sleeves right now. I feel like too many people rush into it and cover themselves before they’re even lived half their lives."

"How much do you charge?" She pointed to a small geometric pattern on his arm, about the size of a playing card, "How much would that cost?"

Ben responded meekly, “Like, 500?”

Rey balked, “Christ, I didn’t think they cost that much!”

“Well, if you wanted one I’d do it for free.”

Her eyes widened, “Oh wow. I dunno, I think I’d need to be your friend for a little longer before I let you do that to me. But..thank you.”

 

They decided to while away the afternoon watching Netflix talk shows, paying half attention as the conversations on screen inspired their own on her living room couch. They started off at opposite ends of the couch, slowly scooting closer together as they used the coffee table for a foot rest. Ben had been engrossed in Norm Macdonald's story about fishing in Canada when he heard Rey gasp.

He turned his head to investigate, and noticed her eyes twinkling and following his head as it moved. He felt his heart stop and dread creep up his spine--he'd been idly tucking his hair behind his ear and she must have noticed. Neither spoke--surely she was drafting a joke as the seconds ticked on. He hoped she would try a little harder than _Dumbo_ and surprise him with one he hadn't heard yet. Ugh. He felt like a self conscious, 13 year old dork again.

She must have been entranced by his freakish ears and not noticed his sour expression. She whispered in unspoiled awe, "They’re so beautiful. I love them!"

 

 

Ben's face softened minutely as he scrutinized her for insincerity. Unconsciously, she lifted her hands from her lap; clearly she wanted to touch them. He considered her grabby paws, poised to strike; they were undulating like a cartoon thief. With an arched an eyebrow and a low tone, he asked, “What were you about to do?”

Rey had the decency to look ashamed. “Uhh...I was just gonna take a closer look.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Uh huh. You know you need consent before you touch someone.”

Rey rolled her eyes and pouted, “I know. I’m sorry.” She shifted on the couch so her feet were on the floor, looked down at them, and then flicked her eyes up to meet his. “I deserve to be punished.”

Ben felt his neck heat up, and then his face, and finally his ears. She just said _that_ , like she was reading from the screenplay of _Fantasy #3 written, directed, produced, and starring Ben Solo_. And she said it so _casually_. Did she even _realize_...she must be feverish? His lips parted but no words came out as he waited for her to speak first.

Her eyes narrowed in thought, and she turned her head to the side, exposing the soft expanse of her neck to him just for a moment. He eyed her intensely as he warred over how to reply. Just as fast, the moment passed. She stood from the couch and started to walk towards the fridge as she called over her shoulder, “I’ll let you have my leftover cheesecake.”

Uncrossing his arms and sighing, he shook his head, “That’s too high a price to pay for such a small infraction. You can touch them if you really want to.”

Rey was back on the couch in a flash, and like a sugar glider leaping towards a branch (he wouldn’t be surprised if she sprouted a striped tail. Sugar gliders were probably on her favorite animals list), her hands launched forward and grasped their target. As her hands made contact, she squealed in delight. Ben was suddenly lightheaded, as if all of the blood in his brain went into his ears. After her sudden docking, she gently explored them, fingers tracing from top to bottom, ending their journey with a gentle tug where his lobe attached right above his jaw hinge. He held back a moan. She closed her eyes and smiled softly, whispering tenderly, “I can’t believe you were hiding these.”

She opened her eyes and he couldn’t filter the adoration that softened his eyes as he watched her. Over and over, in a hundred little ways, Rey made him feel accepted.

She pulled her hands away and gripped the hem of her sweater as she rose from the couch. For a split second he panicked, thinking Rey was ripping off her shirt as if they were doing some ancient mating dance. She lifted her shirt above her abs, and pointed to a dark, jagged scar on her side. His brain doesn’t register its presence at first, he’s so enraptured with the dip of her waist and smooth plains of her stomach. She looked so soft.

"I got this when I was in high school. Never worn a bikini because of it. I got close but, I dunno, not worth the questions."

Her voice pulled him out of his reverie, and he pondered her gesture. She was sharing an insecurity with him, even-Stevens. She wasn’t going leave things un-square between them, and that suited him just fine.

 

They passed the next hour on the couch in comfortable silence, watching a standup special of a comedian Ben had never heard of. He felt Rey shiver before he heard her.

"Bloody hell, I can't get warm," her eyes met his as she continued in a pathetic voice, "I just want to feel better."

"Do you have any more blankets in a closet or something?"

Rey whined, "No, this is comforter from my bed and my couch blanket. Brrrrrr."

She sounded so pitiful, and she didn't have any more blankets, and Ben just wanted to help so he blurted out, "Can I try getting you warm? Um, not in a creepy way, in a fellow mammal kind of way?"

Rey nodded and looked relieved. First, he removed his hoodie and handed it to her, still warm from his body heat. He swung his legs behind her back and laid down with his back against the couch, gesturing for her to follow him. He doesn't argue when Rey laid with her back to the TV and buried her face into his t-shirt-clad chest.

"Can I put my hands on your back to warm you up?"

Rey simply nodded again, her body shivering in fits and starts as she fought against the flu. Ben took a moment to think about baseball and then slid his hands under the layers of blankets and clothes that have failed to warm her. He could feel the goose bumps that came and went as another wave of shivers hit her. He fanned out his fingers to cover the most surface area, and then idly rubbed up her spine. It dawned on him that she wasn't wearing a bra, but rather than titillate, the realization kept his touches conservative and restricted to the rectangular plane of her back. Though, he had to be honest with himself. The selfish part of him delighted in having Rey like this, soft and grateful for his touch, trusting him with her well being.

Rey sighed contentedly into his chest, the puff of hot air the only sign that she was warm-blooded. "Thank you, your hands are really helping. I still feel like I've got frostbite on my finger tips."

"Just put your hands in my armpits."

Rey snorted and turned her face up, only inches from his own. "Ewwwww No! They're probably moist and hairy! I'm not that desperate."

Ben laughed softly, "Suit yourself, they're your fingers."

With her face buried in his shirt once more, it only took a few minutes before Ben felt her icy hands creep under his shirt and gingerly make their way up his torso and into his armpits (which were neither egregiously moist nor hairy, thank you very much). He tried not to flex under her touch. Ben sighed quietly and settled his head on the plush arm of her couch. It wasn't long before Rey's shivering stopped and her breathing evened out.

 

 

Ben awoke several hours later. He lifted his neck slightly and took stock of his surroundings; it was pitch black in the apartment, save the glow of Netflix's "Are you still watching?" screen on the TV. Rey was still pressed against him, but much closer now; her arms had snaked around to his back, still under his t-shirt. Her head rested on his right bicep and her chestnut hair fanned across her face. She looked so peaceful, and held to him with such purpose, even in sleep. He knew he had to extricate himself from the couch as fast as possible; clearly his cock had also registered Rey's presence throughout the night, as it currently pressed insistently into her stomach. With what little elegance he could muster in his overgrown frame, he pushed himself up and off of the couch.  Baseball, thighs clenched, baseball--another disobedient boner defeated. Feet now steady on the ground, he fork-lifted his arms under Rey and carried her bridal style to her bed, blankets and all.

Ben laid her in bed, woke her with a gentle nudge, and whispered, "Hey, we fell asleep on the couch, it's late."

Rey snuggled under the comforter and mumbled, "Mhm no shoes in bed."

Ben froze. "I don't want to intrude, I was gonna drive home."

At this, Rey's eyes opened. Ben watched her face intently. In the soft light of her beside lamp, she looked so doe eyed and sad for a moment, and then swallowed and did a poor job of schooling her face. "Ok."

He felt his heart lurch at her vulnerability. "I mean... I want to stay if you don't mind. It is really dark and cold out but...don’t want to crowd you."

Rey simply nodded and then closed her eyes once more, "Ok good, because I'm not ready to give your hoodie back."

If he was being honest with himself, she could’ve said any reason and he would’ve stayed. Ben laid down next to her, still in jeans (the more fabric he could put between Rey and his cock, the better), and as he predicted, he was so broad he took up almost 2/3 of the bed.

Rey grumbled as she scooted over to accommodate him, "You weren't kidding."

He huffed out a laugh and said, "Here..." and pulled her into his side so her head is on his chest and her arm wrapped around his middle. He surprised himself by how calm he felt. He’d been sleeping alone a long time, but holding Rey felt natural. His heart had been thundering when she first laid beside him on the couch--only now did it dawn on him that she could have noticed.

Suddenly, Rey gasped and pushed off his chest to sit up in bed. "Oh shit, I gotta get up. I uhhh..." Rey looked to him for help, as if he might guess what she was going to say so she would be spared the indignity. Ben parted his lips and raised an eyebrow in question.

Rey sighed in resignation and continued, "I have this...habit...from growing up in the desert. I always check my bedding and shoes for scorpions and vinegaroons. They're really common there, and you have to check, especially if you sleep outside...like uh when you go camping. It's not that I'm afraid of bugs, I just don't want them near me." She bit the inside of her cheek before continuing, "And I need to take a photo of the locked door. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't remember if I locked it, so I check my photo reel." Rey cleared her throat, and grabbed her phone off the night stand, "Be right back."

For his part, Ben just listened quietly. He was in no place to judge someone for their fears or insecurities. He thought about the squeak she made when she saw an orbweaver outside Poe's last week. He'd like to be around to smoosh bugs if it made her feel safe.

Back in bed a few minutes later, Rey laid her head on his chest without prompting. Her shivering had long ceased. Half into the darkness in the room, half into the shirt that covered his heart, she whispered, "I like getting to know you."

Ben didn't dare to open his mouth, afraid that he'd start speaking and wouldn't be able to stop until Rey had heard every salacious, honest, and humiliating detail of his feelings for her. _Getting to know each other_ , he could get behind that. He hummed in approval and gently squeezed her to him.

 

 

 

 

Ben woke to his phone alarm going off, which he quickly reached on the floor and dismissed. He took stock of his situation: They had been sleeping on their sides, Rey once again facing him, looking so small and cute in his hoodie. After a few minutes of watching her sleep and letting his mind wander, he landed on a definition for the tightness he felt in his chest. He felt like he was exactly where he was meant to be, but in the wrong context, like a Mardi Gras reveler who mixed up the dates.

With a sigh, he sat up in bed and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He wasn't going to let himself hope that Rey might reach for him, and pull him back into bed with a kiss. He _wasn't_ going to. No, he _was_ going to put his watch back on, and his boots, and then pocket his phone and get out of there. He took a few minutes to tidy her living room, gathering up the empty takeout boxes and soda bottles to throw in the dumpster on his way out. After he locked her door and pulled it shut behind him, he fired off a quick text.

**7:14am Ben:** Hey, I had to get up early for work, didn't want to wake you. I can swing by after if you need anything?

Ben stepped outside, and melancholy set in as the reality of the cold morning hit him. He realized that he was gone for her, and chastised himself for falling for the first girl to show some interest in him. It wouldn't amount to anything, as she'd been very clear with her disinterest; Bazine _never_ let him see her without a full face of makeup, and even _she_ hid her interest in dating other people around him. Everything about Ben was too much. Feet too big to find normal shoes. Legs too long. Cock too big for some girls. Too angry. Too rude. Too loud. And yet... _I like getting to know you._ If she hadn't been scared away yet, maybe there was hope?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to sow the seeds for the D/s smut that will be coming later... I wonder did anyone pick up on that? Also, do you guys think this fic reads too much like a screenplay? Sometimes I feel like I get bogged down in the movement of people and things. I appreciate all honest feedback, good or bad!!
> 
> Kudos and comments are fuel!!


	8. October 24-28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drones, recreational drug use, and scary movies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the new 2019 Cannes photos (that one where he's on the couch? Mmph!) have inspired me!! I was on a Reylo lull for a few months and recently found lots of great fics to inspire me (check my bookmarks), so here you go!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Oct 24-28**

 

 

It was unseasonably warm for a day in late October, a fact that Poe had leaned on heavily when convincing his friends to gather in Patterson Park to play with his new drone (an anniversary gift from Finn). Rey was grateful for the change of scenery; she’d spent the past week zombie-shuffling between work and home before the flu finally knocked her off her ass. Among her circle of friends, it was no secret who had been taking care of her. She had been vague with details, which only served to whet her friends’ appetites for the truth. A frown took over her features as she contemplated what to say to them. Ideally, they would avoid the well-worn platitude that applied to situations like this-- _Just put yourself out there_. Right. Rey lived her whole life _out there_. She survived by sticking to her priorities: safety, shelter, food. Love never made it onto the list. Allowing herself to need it had always felt indulgent.

 

_BZZZZZTTTTT......_

 

A blur of white and orange zoomed past Rey's head and startled her from her reverie. Over her left shoulder, Poe shouted, "Earth to Rey! I don't want Ben breaking down my door when he hears I concussed you."

 

Before Rey could huff out a retort, Rose giggled from behind her, "Yea Rey, what's up with you guys? He's been quite the fixture at PPP's, so I hear."

 

Rey tossed her hands in the air, frustrated with Ben and the situation he'd unknowingly put her in. It felt like double jeopardy. "Uhhhh nothing's up. We hung out a few times. _Platonically_."

 

While arching an eyebrow at her friend, Rose reached out to touch Rey's arm before continuing, "You don't seem super pumped about it. Is he being a creep?" Rey blanched and shook her head, and Rose continued,"You spend so much free time with him, he's getting in the way of you finding love!"

 

Poe barked a laugh and shook his head slowly, "I think love already found _her_. You guys should've seen Ben's face when he came looking for Rey on her first sick day. I've never seen someone look so disappointed to see me. Did he bring you some _vitamin D?_ "

 

Rey groaned as Poe waggled his eyebrows and grinned brightly as he teased her. She was willing to endure the ribbing for the hope that this encounter ended in some useful advice. "Noooo... but we did share my bed.” Rey paused to wave her hand dismissively, “Not like that. I was getting the chills and he kept me warm."

 

With that admission, all pretense of flying the drone was over; the group’s attention had pivoted sharply to her love life. Poe bent down to pick up the drone and cradled it to his chest before jogging over, the last to join their circle. She had hoped to avoid the circus, but saw the benefit of their input. Finn spoke up first. "Do you want to date him? Has he brought it up? Your friendship is already at risk if one of you has a crush. It’s untenable. You just have to come out and say how you feel."

 

Rey had not expected Finn to go straight for the throat, and yet she appreciated his advice as he had had much more experience in the dating world. "I...I can't bring myself to say anything. If he's not interested, I'd still have to see him on our block every day. I've been to his house in Guilford, so he'll probably think I'm a gold digger. I would die from embarrassment and haunt the shop, and nobody wants that.” Rey took a deep breath. "But in my _defense_ , I've been shooting off hints like goddamn fireworks. The air between us is _lousy_ with hints. I asked him to share my bed when I was sick! I always break the touch barrier!"

 

Poe sounded positively gleeful at this revelation, and waved a dismissive hand at her doubts, " _Whatever_ , you're gonna be pregnant with his twins by May. Leia's gonna be so excited!!"

 

Rey took another deep breath to calm herself as she felt her blush deepening. "It’ll be an immaculate conception then... he hasn’t even kissed me yet."

 

A chill passed through her as the wind picked up. She hugged her light jacket against her, not quite warm enough for a brisk fall day. Ben's arms had been so warm and solid. He had held her with such care and protectiveness, as if his body could cure her of her ails. She wondered if the erection neither of them acknowledged was for her, the situation, or just biology. After he left the first morning, she had pushed the hem of his hoodie up above her waist and had brought herself off with just her fingers while encased in Ben's scent. Cold wind and warm sunshine had a turf war over her face as she felt a sob well in her chest, signalling the well-known start to a crying jag, "Ugh sorry, sorry. I'm fine." Rey batted away Rose's concerned hand, "This is just bringing up a lot of stuff for me. Why would he not just come out and say it? We've hung out enough, and I definitely feel chemistry with him." Rey wiped at her eyes and softened her expression as she continued, "He’s so handsome and awesome, he could get whoever he wanted. He's been so kind to me, for no reason that I can see."

 

The trio exchanged a knowing look, and Finn spoke first, "I mean, yea, I don't know if I'd call him awesome, abrasive maybe... from what we've seen, he only acts that way towards you."

 

Rey frowned. "I know, it bothers me."

 

Rose reached a hand forward again--God love her, she was a tactile person when she spoke. Rey did not pull away this time, and Rose spoke as her hand rested on her elbow, "Talk to him about it. If he wants to be with you, he’ll make an effort to change. He code switches for you.”

 

“Oh yea I noticed that too—boyfriend voice! That's how I knew Finn liked me, hehe...”

 

Finn rolled his eyes at his husband and continued doling out advice, “Here's the plan. If you don’t want to bring it up, just keep reacting positively to his actions. Hold eye contact and smile. He’ll screw up the courage, if he's not a total dumb ass. Or just grow some balls and confront him."

 

"I like the first option better. Guys, please don't say anything or do anything to let on that I told you about this. Ben is hyper perceptive... And I would hate it if..."

 

Unable to finish the thought, Rey sniffed and accepted the tissue Rose had pulled from her purse. "Of course, we're on your side! You'll have your beefcake and eat it too."

 

The group collectively groaned at Rose's double entendre and Rey's heart felt a little lighter.

 

 

@@@@@@@

 

 

A few days later, Rey's phone buzzed with a text from Ben at the same moment the power went out in her building. A crackle and boom reverberated outside of her window, as if a tree had downed a power line. The hair braiding tutorial she had been attempting and failing at was stuck at 50% loaded, and Rey frowned into the webcam she was using as a mirror before salvaging what she could of the double Dutch crown braid and pinning the end behind her ear. Deeming her hair passable, she retrieved her phone from the pillow next to her and read Ben's message.

 

**1:40pm Ben:** Did you hear that explosion? Sounds like a transformer blew. Heard it at work, Armie jumped

**1:43pm Rey:** Yea, just lost power {crying face emoji} and more importantly, wifi

**1:43pm Ben:** Come over, you can use mine. I'm off work at 2, I could pick you up?

 

Rey sighed and stared at her phone. Ben did this all the time; rushing in to help her. She was finding it less annoying and more, like a sign that Ben was genuinely interested in her well-being. She never got the feeling that he wanted anything more from her than her companionship, and it scared her to think that accepting his generosity might make him think the opposite of her. She needed to pluck up her courage and straighten things out between them once and for all. But...not today. She hadn't even thought of how to approach him with her feelings.

 

**1:44pm Rey:** Are you sure? The things I google will probably get you on a FBI watch list.

 

This is what Rey did. She gave people an out when it came to helping her.

 

**1:45pm Ben:** Then I'd be in great company. Don't have much food at home. Mind stopping at Whole Foods?

 

 

 

 

**1:45pm Rey:** Sure, I'll bring my vape pen I just got, it's Gorilla Glue. Try it with me?

**1:46pm Ben:** The name alone has me intrigued. Sounds like a plan. But I'm picking the movie.

**1:46pm Rey:** Deal!

 

 

Half an hour later, Rey was in Ben's car holding her backpack on her lap as he parked in front of Whole Foods. She had packed his hoodie, thinking it best to return the sweater before she defiled it any further (and if she was being honest, she wanted to see him wear it again). Rey couldn't help but balk at the prices as they walked through the aisles of Whole Paycheck. As if he could read her mind, Ben turned to her as he palmed a giant jar of pickles into his basket. Something about seeing his fingers spread around the smooth glass, veins bulging slightly on the top of his hand under its weight...well, it drove Rey to distraction and only hardened her resolve. Finn was right. Her heart would never accept Ben as just a friend, so it was pointless to pretend. The only problem was...Rey didn't know where to start.

 

"Listen, I can see the wheels turning in your brain. I'm getting us some snacks, end of story."

 

It took a moment for Ben's voice to register, so lost had she been in her thoughts. Dumbly, she looked up at him and mumbled, "Huh?"

 

Unphased by her apparent lack of attention, Ben continued in a conspiratorial whisper, "You're smoking me out and I want to do it right."

 

"Oh, uhh.." Rey blinked as her brain caught up to the conversation, "Oh no. No, it's too much." Rey reached into the basket hanging from Ben's elbow and pulled out a wedge of cheese, "Ben, this cheese is $13!!"

 

Ben regarded her for a moment, then silently stepped toward her, completely invading her personal space (not that she was complaining), wrapped his hand around her wrist until he encased it completely in his grip, and with the other, he gently plucked the wedge of cheese from her fingers. He parted his lips and spoke quietly, voice all deep and rich, "And we're going to enjoy it with the $7 box of crackers I picked up. So please behave and let me treat you." On the word, behave, Ben released her arm and returned the cheese to the basket hanging off of his elbow. She was too wound up at his show of gentle dominance to argue, though the thought of pushing Ben's buttons and misbehaving held her attention for the rest of the trip.

 

Back at Ben's house, they put away the cold groceries (berries and vanilla ice cream, Ben had read somewhere it tasted otherworldly when high) and spread the rest of their treats out on the kitchen countertop. Rey steadied her resolve and launched into her speech. "I need to talk to you about something. I don’t like having my friend group divided. I want to include you in the stuff that Rose, Finn, Poe, and I do. It just seems like you guys got off on the wrong foot and...” Rey tapered off, waiting for Ben’s response.

 

He frowned, and looked down at his feet and scratched the back of his neck. “Yea, fuck, I know. I guess I don’t make it easy. Maybe we could all hang out at Jess’s Halloween party? Promise I’ll be polite.”

 

Rey nodded, placated by his admission. “Good, because you all are very important to me. Anyway, let's get our day started! Put some music on and I'll get the vape pen?”

 

Rey had to fight to contain her grin as she plodded towards the entryway. She hadn't expected Ben to be so...cooperative, though time would tell. She took it as a good sign and felt emboldened to test Finn's advice. First things first, however; she dug Ben's sweater out of her backpack and returned it to his coat rack. Her hand paused on the fabric as another hoodie, this one dark maroon instead of black, caught her eye. Throwing caution and her fear of Ben's reaction to the wind, she grabbed it and quickly put it on. It wore more like a dress than a sweater, but no matter. She shoved the vape pen into the kangaroo pouch, grabbed some snacks from the kitchen, and approached the couch where Ben was fiddling with a playlist on his phone. Upon hearing her footsteps, he turned his body towards her, pressing his thick forearm across the top of the couch and palming the back of it as he moved. No sound left his parted lips as he watched her approach. "I hope you don't mind, it's cold in here and this pouch is perfect for snacks."

 Ben cleared his throat and looked down at his phone with an arched eyebrow, "Course not, what should we listen to?"

"Your favorite album! No pressure hehehe!"

 

 

With their vitals and entertainment ready, they settled into the couch and passed Rey's vape pen back and forth. Despite his size, Ben's tolerance was low enough that within minutes he started showing the classic signs of a newbie in over his head. Rey noticed his breathing getting shallow as he white-knuckled the couch armrest.

Speaking slowly and calmly as to not alarm him, Rey tested the waters, "Hey there, big guy... everything ok?"

"Uhhhh...I feel weird. Like I'm perched at the top of a roller coaster."

"Ahhh that sounds intense. You'll be fine, here, give me your hand before you rip a hole in the couch," Rey laid the pen down on the coffee table and took Ben's hand in her own, "I think you did a bit too much too fast. So you might feel a bit weird or anxious at first, but I'm here ok? I'll be your spirit guide, young Solo."

Rey had hoped smoking would loosen him up and get him talking about his feelings, or (in her wildest dreams) even come on to her. She hadn't anticipated him having an adverse reaction.

"I've got an idea! I think you need a distraction to get you out of your head. Touch my hair."

Rey raised Ben's hand to rest on the side of her head. The mellowing effects of the drug became apparent as Ben methodically worked his fingers through her hair, tugging at it slightly every so often as he went to a new section. "Holy fuck this feels so good. I love the color of your hair, it's like pecan pie. Fuck I could eat some pie!"

Rey couldn't hold back a sigh as she replied, "I like the color of your eyes, I could just pluck them out and eat them. They look like caramels."

Ben grunted and spoke in a soft, thoughtful tone, "Hey, here's a weird thought I just had...I touch so many people every day. But you’re the only person who touches me."

Rey gaped at him before humming in interest. Seeing her incredulity, he continued, "How many people have touched you, not counting handshakes, in the past month?"

"Finn, Poe, Rose, Phasma, Jess, Maz, Leia, and you."

He held her eyes and shook his head, "Just you."

Though not as intoxicated as Ben, Rey felt the heavy warmness in her limbs and the base of her spine preventing her from breaking Ben's intense stare. She could hear the small puffs of air escaping his plump, ever-so-slightly parted lips, as the intoxication raised his heart rate. As the seconds stretched out, Rey realized that all she had to do to kiss Ben was turn her head 30 degrees and lean forward 10 inches. Somehow during their conversation their body language had shifted to be completely mirroring and facing the other. Something in her shifted and she started to panic, playing out all the what-ifs if she did it and in the end deciding to save face. She smiled wide and flicked her eyes away and back up at him. In a voice much more chipper than necessary, she exclaimed, "Hey I brought snacks! Want some fruit leather?"

Thankfully Ben was easily distracted by the prospect of food. He happily chewed on fruit leather as Rey peeled open a chocolate bar. Suddenly, he shivered and groaned, then addressed Rey's concern before she could speak, "I'm fine. It just feels like...a lot. Can you talk about something to get me out of my head?" 

 

 

"Of course! Um...hey! Did I tell you how _cool_ you are? You're such a cool tough guy with all of your tough guy tattoos and your leather boots. Oh and that _hair_!" she reached out and petted the inky black hair that framed his face, not missing the way he nuzzled into her hand, "Like a cool scene kid. Did you ever have a face piercing? I bet you had a lip or eyebrow ring."

Ben nodded in shame and mumbled, "Eyebrow,” while giving Rey a pitiful look.

It only lasted a moment. His puppy eyes broke away into a grin and soon his sides were shaking with laughter at the teasing. Rey pointed to each of his tattoos and asked about their meaning. Near the end of the tour down his arm, she noticed there were gaps and blank spots in his tattoo sleeve.

"Why are these spots empty?"

Ben quietly confessed, "Well, the empty spot here is the part of my hand I see the most when I'm working. I'm saving it for my future family."

In response, Rey’s ovaries overrid the speech center of her brain for a moment, "I get very tactile when I smoke. Can I touch your arm? I mean, God, that sounds weird-"

"Yes please."

Ben's rushed reply hung in the air between them as he stared at her expectantly. Perhaps he _was_ going to let his guard down. Rey gently traced the pattern on his inner forearm as he stretched his arm across her lap, head resting on her shoulder as he sat next to her.

In an attempt to explain, Rey turned her head and whispered into his hair, "I get very tactile when I'm intoxicated. More than I usually am. What you said earlier, does it bother you?"

Jolted by the sudden silence, Ben groaned and nuzzled into her shoulder, "Uhh...sorry, I forgot what we were talking about. Does what bother me?"

Rey had abandoned tracing in favor of kneading the muscles on his forearms. It was hypnotic, how thick and warm they were. Rey thought that having them around her might fix everything. "The um...me being the only one who touches you."

Ben's voice lowered as he shook his head, "Ohh, no, no no no no."

His eyes widened and brows raised as he scanned her face worriedly. She couldn't help but blush at his insistence. _OK, all signs point to he's into me. Fine, Poe. You were right._

Reassuringly, Rey patted his arm and changed the subject, "You feel better?"

Ben laughed and smiled and Rey could tell he did. "You're a good person and I'm glad that we met." She nudged him with her elbow and said in her best Gandalf impression, "You were meant to find me. And that’s an encouraging thought."

Ben stared openly at her for a moment before a shy smile bloomed on his face. He broke eye contact and laughed nervously, "That's all I needed to snap out of it, thanks Gandalf. I'm so thirsty but I can't get up...my body is too heavy."

Ben leaned back slowly so that he was no longer resting on her shoulder. Feeling the euphoria and uplift from the cannabis, she felt braver with her teasing, "Pssht, I bet I could pick you up."

"Not happening. I weigh 240! Heheh..." Ben giggled to himself before continuing, obviously feeling the euphoria as well, "Remember the time I carried you home? You were so happy. I loved it."

"Yea, uh huh, don't change the subject. You want me to be your butler. Right now you’re Batman and I’m Alfred." Doing her best Michael Caine, she stood and bowed her head, "Yes, _Master Wayne_. I’ll fetch the 1994 vintage."

With no laughter in his voice, Ben closed his eyes and replied lowly, "Only if I’m Batman from the animated series."

Rey stopped in her tracks and squeezed her thighs together involuntarily before meeting his eyes and saying quietly, “You definitely are."

 

 

 

 

Over his shoulder, he yelled into the kitchen after Rey, "Can we get some snacks going too?"

Rey quickly padded out into the living room and rounded on Ben, " _Can we get some snacks going?_ Do you hear how rude you sound?" Rey paused for a moment and shrugged, adopting a breezy posture, "Well, your name’s on the building, _Master Wayne_. I mean, I guess I should go get them, this place is _named_ after you and all."

Ben groaned and clutched his heart in mock-anguish, “Rey, you’re killing me.”

Rey turned and scurried into the kitchen, "So sorry, sir. Right away, _sir!_ "

She found this to be a fair trade-she got the thrill of calling him Sir and Master, and he got to stay couch-locked while supplies were brought to him. She really, really liked it.

“Man alive” he groaned when she returned with a plate of fruit and cheese and two bottles of water.

After setting it on his knee, she asked with a sly smile, “Is that to your liking?”

 "Ha ha, yes, thank you. Grab that remote, let's watch _Mandy_."

 

 

 

 

 

Rey _hated_ scary movies. She liked watching movies strictly for escapism and comfort; on her worst days she loved to lose herself in a good Studio Ghibli movie. Ben had told her that horror made him _feel_ something. She couldn't relate to being an adrenaline junky; she had had enough to suit herself for life. As she predicted, she started feeling really scared not even halfway through the movie, during the scene when Mandy is sitting in the kitchen chair. "Ben! I _can’t_ handle this movie."

The idea of a cult having spooky demons scared her. She always thought there were things we didn't understand about the world yet, so, who knows? She could sit through creature features all night, but something about pure evil rattled her. To make matters worse, Ben had turned off the lights and cranked up his surround sound. He was clearly loving the experience; he just patted her head and shushed her.

"I need more blankets to hide under. And swear you won’t fuck with me."

"I swear I won’t--"

Rey warned coldly, "If you scare me I’m gonna burn your house down. I know how to make it look like an accident."

Ben raised his eyebrows in alarm and let out a quick sharp whistle as he pointed next to him. "I like this house so I can’t let you get the wrong idea. C'mere."

 

 

Half way through the movie, she had her hand fisted in his T-shirt out of fear. At some point, he had wrapped an arm around her. Whenever the music got scary or he felt Rey tense up, Ben would squeeze her into his side. She could feel him preening at comforting her, or was she imagining things? During the bathroom scene where Nicholas Cage was screaming, she joked, “You’ve definitely screamed like that before haven’t you?”

Ben mumbled an affirmative response, "It's been a while, but yea..."

During the last act of the film, he had locked both arms around her waist, practically pulling her into his lap. She had whimpered and whined and kicked her legs as the antagonists fought the hero. Finally, Ben grumbled, "Jesus, do I need to hold you down for you to be still? You’re making _me_  scared!"

Afterwards, he teased her for being a _girl_ about the whole thing and took a picture of the mark her hand left. The fabric was wrinkled in a radiant pattern from the stress it had been under. Rey found it relatable but kept the thought to herself.

 

 

After the movie, Rey rustled them up off of the couch to go to sleep because they were starting to nod off. Rey had agreed to share a bed for comfort; it wasn’t weird since they did it already, she told herself.  Standing near his bed, she noticed an imprint of his foot in the carpet. She stepped in it and called to Ben, "Hey look! You know that thing in a science museum as a kid where you can step in a dinosaur foot print?" she gestured to her tiny foot in the size 16 foot print, "This takes me back." 

Ben laughed and waved her off as he climbed into bed, "Oh fuck off."

Rey saw Ben in his king sized bed for the first time. Her heart was hammering, she wanted to kiss him so bad. But what a creep that would make her, doing that out of nowhere. Like she came over under false pretenses. _Boundaries_ , _boundaries_ , _boundaries_ she repeated to herself. 

They each laid on their sides facing one another but not touching. In the dark, room, enough faint light from streetlights leaked in to make the outline of Ben's face visible as he spoke.

"You know how sometimes the thing happens where I suggest something and you say you won’t like it, but then you really do? I know I tease you but I love those moments.  I’d rather you and me both like it. I don’t want you to dislike what I like just because you thought you would."  


Rey beamed at him, touched by his words, "That’s how I know you have a kind heart. You want net positivity in the world."

He looked shocked by her comment and like he would start to cry if pushed with more words. He raised his eyebrows and croaked out, “You think that about me?”

"Yea, I’m not saying you’re not an asshole. But...yea. I feel safe with you and I never feel that way."

Bolstered by her words, he replied confidently, "You make me want to be a good person."

 _Just_ _do_ _it_ , _Rey_. "Can I ask why you never had a girlfriend after Bazine?"

"Yea. I traveled so much that I would have to leave by the time I made connections. I was punishing myself. Why no one after Sidon?"

It took everything in her to hold her tongue. "I just thought it was easier to be alone. I hadn’t ached for someone yet." _Not_ _like_ _I_ _ache_ _for_ _you_.

 

Rey wanted to push his shoulders down, pull his cock out, and ride him until he passed out. The sexual tension in that bedroom was killing her. It was way worse than sitting at home with no wifi! She knew it would be premature. They should talk about feelings before being physical. That way no one could blame it on drugs and ignore the palpable feelings between them. She sensed that she still didn’t know him well. The prospect of waking up naked and alone after a night with him killed her. She could see him walling off if he gor scared. 

Unaware of the debate raging inside Rey, Ben laid on his back and opened his arms to her. With a wink in his voice he said, "Let's not pretend this isn’t where you’re gonna end up."

She laughed, happy for the distraction, "Allll riiight you got me. You got me. Here I come!"

She fell down on him with a bounce. He squeezed her tight and rubbed her back, shamelessly taking a deep breath to inhale the scent of her hair. He whispered in a tender, pained voice, "You smell so good."

She felt the heat radiating off of him. He was still very intoxicated; sober Ben would never have been so brazen. She needed to break the sexual tension. So, she did the only thing her foggy brain could think of—she farted. “Not anymore!”

Rey laughed manically and punched him playfully. Ben snorted in disbelief as his whole body shook until he was exhausted. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I love about reading and writing Reylo is that the fics often include very sensual appreciation of everyday things (ie guys exerting effort when using their hands), so I tried to include that in my writing. Kudos and comments are fuel!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! CCW!


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